Post-Modern Man


The easy electronic communication between gay, bi, married, and all other men, looking to find one another gets easier each year. At the risk of dating myself, when I was in graduate school in the early 1980s I played online with a service called The Source and later CompuServe. Both had gay chat areas. While the world has added pictures and GPS locations, the content of the chats is not too different than what I wrote 35 years ago.

Today I’m a Grindr fan on my iPhone. I love the GPS component so that I can find guys close to me. While Grindr provides me hours of fun, I have to say that I find a lot of guys online to be assholes. Send a picture they don’t like and get blocked. Don’t have the right amount of chest hair or have too much chest hair and get blocked. Now I know that Grindr is probably not the best place to meet men, but as I’ve noted in earlier posts, I’m married and living with my wife and son. So even though I’m out to my wife, it doesn’t afford me much room to play, and I certainly can’t host someone.

But what I really want is to date. To honestly tell a man who I am, have him like me, and to find him really really sexy and attractive. While NSA is what I have available to me today, it’s not very fulfilling, or easy to do. I’d much rather go to Match or OkCupid and try and meet someone. While that has it’s own pitfalls, and I’ve written about coming out in my mid-50s and how hard I expect it to be, it also feels exciting and I really can’t wait.

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