Is The Gay Showing?


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I’ve never been a public figure. In fact, when I began to work after college, I remember consciously making the decision, because of my homosexuality, to keep a low profile in the world. I knew that being gay did not lend itself to many white-collar professions at the time. And to borrow a line from Panti’s Nobel Call at the Abbey Theatre, I was afraid the gay would show. So I did my best to keep the gay hidden by hiding myself.
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Moving Through Fear

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Every step of coming out of the closet, even when you are already out, has an element of fear. Today in the CEOs staff meeting the head of Human Resources announced the formation of Resource or Affinity groups at our company, starting with LGBT and Veterans this year, followed by others next year. She also announced that I would be the executive sponsor for the LGBT group. Even though I had come out to everyone at the meeting, I was surprised by how nervous and scared I was. It felt like stepping on the world stage and being very out and very public. Continue reading

Come Out, Go Big

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Balancing a high-level job with a lot of pressures and the process of continually becoming more public as a gay man certainly makes for a level of anxiety, fear, and an exciting, evolving life. Continue reading

My Company’s New LGBT Resource Group


Today, every large company seems to have an LGBT resource or affinity group. The HR group in my company is working to form resource groups, starting with LGBT and Veteran groups, and I’ve been asked to be involved in launching the LGBT group. Continue reading

Coming Out Later In Life

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As I’ve gotten to know other men who have been married and now identify as gay, separating from their wives has come with various levels of pain. I count myself among the lucky men, because as difficult as it was to move out of my house and separate from my wife, starting a new life has been wonderful in so many ways. I have felt freedom, honesty, and integrity that I never had before, ever! The pain of hiding, since puberty, my sexual orientation, is gone. Continue reading

Thoughts on Dating

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One of the surprises in coming out in my mid-50s has been dating—It’s been a lot of fun. Before coming out I was worried that I would fail miserably at dating. I was worried that my dating skills were too rusty and that I would make a fool of myself on a date with another man. I also thought that having been married to a woman would be a dating liability. None of this turned out to be true. I found out that I’m a good conversationalist. I’ve also learned that I have a way of making other people feel comfortable and at ease, all of which is a good thing when on a date. Continue reading

The Death of Archie Andrews


Archie Andrews was a favorite comic character of my childhood, but I haven’t thought of him for many years, until last week. The news of Archie’s death, protecting his gay friend from a gunman, made headline news. When I heard the ‘breaking news’, and it did come across as breaking news, I thought it quite silly. The story felt like nothing more than a plan to sell comic books. But this morning Archie’s gay friend became part of my story.
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The Boys of Summer


In the early 1960s, my parents discovered Nantucket, long before the island became the popular upscale resort it is today. Each summer for a month, we would pack up the station wagon, tie the sailfish (a surfboard-like sailboat) to the roof, stuff the station wagon with clothes, diapers, a crib, my little sister and baby brother.  My father and mother would drive us to Woods Hole for the ferry ride to the island. We stayed in a small furnished cottage near the center of town that was part of a property of three cottages. The cottage we most often rented had a plaque above the door that named our summer home, After Cabin.
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