The needs and passions of the body are fascinating. While the sexual drive I had at 18 is not the drive I have in my 50s, the basic elemental drive remains, even if the urgency, frequency, and quality had changed. I’m finding that understanding the sexual workings of my 56-year-old body is a never-ending lesson in humility and discovery.
I’m enjoying intimacy and touching more. I love to cuddle and hold a man. While orgasms remain important, they are no longer the main driver for me. Finding a man who can make a deeper connection, laugh with me, cuddle, lay together as we watch a movie, are now important dimensions. I find some of the high standards I once held for muscle, hair, teeth aren’t as important when compared to finding a partner who has other attributes.
No one really talks about how our sexuality changes as we age. I think in my teenage years I just assumed that sexuality disappeared as a man got older, say in his 40s or 50s. From the teenage vantage point, even 30 looked really old.
From where I sit today, I feel reborn. I have rediscovered myself and continue to discover who I am as a gay man, as a sexual being, and as a man in his mid-50s. So I try to have patience with my older body and understand its workings.