Life at it’s best! From June 15, 2013, the day I moved into my apartment and out of my marriage, to today, has been the best period of my adult life. Not that there have not been periods, events, moments before last June that were wonderful. But these last fourteen months, taken as a whole, have been incredible. From that first night in my apartment until today, I have had a fantastic time and transformed my life to a fully out gay man with a rich and diverse group of friends.
What does it mean to me to be fully out? It is not about the sex. It is about becoming a whole, integrated, proud and sincere person. It is about building community. It is about being able to talk with ease about who I am.
A few years ago the thought of revealing the walled off compartment where I once hid the gay struck terror in me. There was enough fear that I kept my homosexuality hidden for most of my adult life. But the progression in my life these past three plus years has been amazing and better than anything I could have imagined.
While I have come out at work to many people this past year, next week I will talk about my coming out in front of roughly 125 people in my company, as part of talking about the new resource groups, including LGBT, that are forming where I work. I’m not scared as I prepare for next Wednesday. When it first entered my mind to come out at this meeting a few months ago, I was terrified, but excited at the thought. After a lot of thought and soul searching, I think I’m ready.
So what is next? I have written my goals before but it is time for a refresh.
Here are my goals for the next year:
- Continue to date, have a relationship or boyfriend(s) and fall in love, not necessarily in that order
- Join one (or two) non-profit boards for LGBT organizations. I recently interviewed for a board seat on the board of an LGBT health care organization and hope to hear in hear in the next few weeks if I have been appointed to the board. I would also like to get involved in an organization that works with LGBT youth.
- Network with LGBT leaders in other organizations in the Washington, D.C. community.
- Launch the LGBT resource group at my company in October and have the first year go fantastically. This includes meeting LGBT associates from across the organization.
- Continue to create a fantastic community of men friends including, hosting monthly potluck dinner and movie nights
- Continue being active in Washington, D.C. LGBT organizations such as: Rainbow Spinnakers for sailing; Montgomery Men, a meet up group in my county that meets monthly; And other groups as I discover them
- Stay active on Match and OkCupid and continue to date
- Throw a Fabulous 57 party for my 57th birthday
- Volunteer at an LGBT health clinic for STD/HIV testing—I have a clinic in mind.
- Plan a winter holiday trip with my son someplace special
- Explore taking a gay vacation this winter, such as the Gay Armada, a sailing trip in the Caribbean or a visit to Ft. Lauderdale.
- Begin a workout program and exercise regularly, including weekly men’s yoga classes.
I am sure there’s more I could put on the list but this is a good start of goals for the next year.
I hope it all comes to pass.