A Boy Who Will Be Gay

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The other day my sister shared with me that she missed being able to go my parents, who are now in their mid 80’s, for their counsel and advice. It surprised me, because, since leaving home for college, I’ve rarely gone to my parents for any kind of counsel or advice. Continue reading

Real Boys Are…

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I am fascinated by the subject of transgender men and women and their stories. Earlier this year I read Janet Mock’s new book, Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More. It was a wonderful book that I could not put it down. I am now reading another autobiography by a transgender woman, A Queer and Pleasant Danger: A Memoir by Kate Bornstein. This is a very different kind of book, but also quite enjoyable. Continue reading

Three Women: Grit and Power

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I never wanted to be a woman, but I do remember identifying and finding strength with certain women growing up. Three women in particular had a powerful impact on me: roller derby star Judy Arnold of Philadelphia Warriors; Tina Turner who I loved from the first time I saw her on television; and Alberta Hunter, the great blues and jazz singer. Continue reading

Getting Old

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I spent the weekend watching my two and a half year old niece while my brother and sister-in-law were in London. I admit I came with a bit of trepidation, not knowing how my niece would take to me, since we have not spent much time together, as I live in a different city. But she had been well prepared by her mother and started jumping on the bed with excitement when I arrived. She turned out to be delightful, smart and talkative, easy to manage, and happy—what more could you ask for? Continue reading

My Relationship to My Sexuality

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There is a gap between my vision of myself and the reality of self. I am much more conservative sexually and in relationships than I would like to think of myself. In marriage to a woman I definitely chose a by the book closed relationship; faithful to each other until the end, (up to a point). Continue reading

The Politics of Weddings

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I remember years ago reading an article in the New York Times, Hers column about the politics of weddings. It was written by a young woman rabbi. She wrote about the irreversible choices people made around wedding on who to include or exclude and who will sit with whom. When I got married in 1993 I was determined to have a wedding free of petty angers and hurts. Rather than think about it just as our day, we thought about how to make it the best experience for all the attendees. I think we succeeded. Continue reading

The Weight Of The World

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For the past three years I’ve attended a peer support group for men who are gay, bisexual and questioning and who been married to or involved with a women. The meeting at their best are powerful and life changing, and they have helped me during every step of my journey.
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