The other day my sister shared with me that she missed being able to go my parents, who are now in their mid 80’s, for their counsel and advice. It surprised me, because, since leaving home for college, I’ve rarely gone to my parents for any kind of counsel or advice. Continue reading
I am fascinated by the subject of transgender men and women and their stories. Earlier this year I read Janet Mock’s new book, Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More. It was a wonderful book that I could not put it down. I am now reading another autobiography by a transgender woman, A Queer and Pleasant Danger: A Memoir by Kate Bornstein. This is a very different kind of book, but also quite enjoyable. Continue reading
I never wanted to be a woman, but I do remember identifying and finding strength with certain women growing up. Three women in particular had a powerful impact on me: roller derby star Judy Arnold of Philadelphia Warriors; Tina Turner who I loved from the first time I saw her on television; and Alberta Hunter, the great blues and jazz singer. Continue reading
I spent the weekend watching my two and a half year old niece while my brother and sister-in-law were in London. I admit I came with a bit of trepidation, not knowing how my niece would take to me, since we have not spent much time together, as I live in a different city. But she had been well prepared by her mother and started jumping on the bed with excitement when I arrived. She turned out to be delightful, smart and talkative, easy to manage, and happy—what more could you ask for? Continue reading
I remember watching the Glee Christmas Special in 2011 when Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine (Darren Criss) sang “Baby It’s Cold Outside” — one of my favorite songs. Continue reading
There is a gap between my vision of myself and the reality of self. I am much more conservative sexually and in relationships than I would like to think of myself. In marriage to a woman I definitely chose a by the book closed relationship; faithful to each other until the end, (up to a point). Continue reading
Out. Proud. Public. Integrated. Whole. One.
I am an out, proud and increasingly public gay man. Continue reading
I remember years ago reading an article in the New York Times, Hers column about the politics of weddings. It was written by a young woman rabbi. She wrote about the irreversible choices people made around wedding on who to include or exclude and who will sit with whom. When I got married in 1993 I was determined to have a wedding free of petty angers and hurts. Rather than think about it just as our day, we thought about how to make it the best experience for all the attendees. I think we succeeded. Continue reading
For the past three years I’ve attended a peer support group for men who are gay, bisexual and questioning and who been married to or involved with a women. The meeting at their best are powerful and life changing, and they have helped me during every step of my journey.
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If coming out was just about the sex, I would have stayed in the closet. Sex is easy to find. But as I have aged and matured I want something more meaningful then a trick or friend with benefits.
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