The Fear Door

fear life

As I’ve moved through the journey of coming out these past years, every time that I’ve taken a step forward, in spite of my fear, it has ultimately been positive. The fear door, once stepped through, has unknowns on the other side.  For me, the wonder of what is on the other side of the fear door is part of the excitement.

I’m at the point in my life where a number of exciting things are happening.  I came out recently at a leadership presentation I was giving to over 175 people. Soon I will come out to the whole company through an article I’ve written about our new LGBT resource group for the corporate intranet. I’ve also just joined the board of an LGBT health care organization. And I’ve also stepped into a leadership role for a support group for men who have been or are married to a woman, that I’ve been attending for the past few years.

Through all of these events in my life I have stepped into the unknown.  I don’t know what’s beyond the next hill and it is exciting.  Already at work, since my mass coming out, a number of people have reached out to me to tell me their stories.  These are people who I work with every day but had no idea of their connection to, or support of, the LGBT community. For me, each of these surprise conversations is joyous.  So I feel like the song from West Side Story, Something’s Coming:

Something’s coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something’s coming, I don’t know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

I really do feel that there is big things in store for my life, just over the next hill.  I don’t know what those things are.  Each day brings new surprises and learning.

I didn’t come out just to live my life as a gay man.  I came out to experience all parts of the entire LGBTQI community.  I also wanted, after years of hiding in the shadows, give back to the gay community. I want to take leadership roles in the LGBT community and make a difference. I’m particularly interested in LGBT health care and helping LGBT youth.

Stepping through the fear door has opened up all new possibilities. I feel my life is about to begin in new and exciting ways that I can’t even yet see clearly. So much good for me personally has come through my coming out, and I have the sense that there is much more to come, if I can wait!

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