I remember watching the Glee Christmas Special in 2011 when Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine (Darren Criss) sang “Baby It’s Cold Outside” — one of my favorite songs.
I cried when I saw this performance for the first time. It was one of the pivotal events that helped push me other of the closet. When I saw this on Glee it was so beautifully done and in the world that it helped me see how much the world had changed and also that I could no longer live with the pain and loneliness of remaining in the closet.
Something seismic is shifting in our culture and this is just the beginning. For so many years I didn’t think I could come out in a corporate environment or to my friends and family and be accepted. But the culture has changed so dramatically over the past few years that it is hard to stay in the closet. When I came out at work this past year, I soon realized that it was no longer politically correct (at least in this part of the world) to say anything negative towards a gay man—how cool is that?
Early in my marriage I told myself I was bisexual, but as time went on it became clear to me I was gay. But I felt I had made a life commitment to a woman I cared deeply for and to my son and couldn’t walk away. But with each passing year the force of all the positive LGBTQ messages in the culture made it harder and harder to stay in the closet. For many years I wasn’t fooling myself, but I was still scared to upset the fragile balance of my life.
There were moments in recent years where a tumbler fell into place in the process to come out. Hearing, Baby It’s Cold Outside, was one of those moments because it was so fresh, out in the world and beautiful.
When Blane leaves the Warblers and moved to the same high school as Kurt, (Glee, October 2013), he says he did it because he “can’t stand to be apart from the person I love”. The scene quickly shifts to a song, but it is a powerful moment on prime time TV that speaks to the dramatic changes in our culture.
Coming out. Really coming out fully and proudly is a life changing event that creates a feeling of integration and wholeness that is absent in the closet.