"Hello, how are you doing?"

I separated from my wife a year and a half ago so that I could begin my life as a gay man.  We were determined to still spend important holidays together, mostly for the sake of our son.  Yesterday was the second Thanksgiving since our separation that we celebrated as a family, in the home we own. My parents came to Washington, DC and stayed overnight, at the invitation of my wife, in our home. My wife’s family: parents, sister, brother and his family and in-laws, along with a few other invited guests attended the event in our house.  A house I have not lived in for a year and a half. Continue reading

On The Road To Coming Out

On the road to coming out my first year in college I met Christopher.  He was a friend of my best friend Nina and it was Nina that introduced us.  Introduced is probably a bit of a misnomer.  I had met Christopher briefly and seen him in group settings and he struck me as odd and a bit weird. I did not want to have much to do with Christopher. But, as happens, my ego got in the way.  Nina came to me and said, “Christopher’s a virgin.  He really likes you and wants to sleep with you.”  Well, whose ego could turn down that kind of proposal at 18 years old?  Soon after that Christopher and I had sex for the first time.

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Toxic Shame

I’m re-listening to the book, The Velvet Rage, by Alan Downs.  It was a very important book in my coming out process when I read two and a half years ago.  As I hear the book again, there is so much valuable information which I had forgotten.  One of the important cornerstones of the book, which I have been thinking freshly about is the concept of ‘toxic shame’.  Having spent the last year and a half coming out, I was beginning to feel I was finished with the shame I once felt about being gay.  But I am seeing that overcoming shame is really a lifelong process.

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Getting My Gay Together and Taking it On the Road

We recently launched an LGBT Resource Group at my company and I am acting as the executive sponsor.  As part of launching this group we are holding Lunch & Learn meeting around the company at different company locations.  The attendance has been generally small but the discussion lively.

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Why It’s Sandra Bullock!

I really have only done drag once in my life, if you do not include the Rocky Horror costume I made my first year in college for halloween. My most recent drag experience was at a workshop I took a year ago the week before I separated from my wife. The workshop itself is hard to sum up, but simply put, it was a personal growth workshop for men only of all sexual persuasions, but most attendees were gay. Continue reading