Marriage Revisited – Part 1

When I separated from my wife, moving out of our family home and moving into an apartment, my life changed dramatically. Within a few weeks I came (back) out to my parents, both in their mid 80s, my 86 year old aunt, my four siblings and some of my closest friends. From there I came out to my cousins and my other aunt and uncle, and then ten months later, after a lot of thought and planning, I came out at work. After years of hiding who I was in a small secret compartment, ashamed to share my secret with anyone, I felt incredibly liberated. Each coming out was increasingly empowering and integrating. Continue reading

Get a Job

When I separated from my wife a year and a half ago, I agreed, because I was the one working at the time, to continue to support her and my son, as I had always done. At the time I felt it was he right thing for me to do. I believed, perhaps naïvely that our financial arrangements, since my wife had take early retirement in 2005, did not really need to change much. But a year and a half later, I am seeing things differently. Continue reading

Hiding in Plain Sight

Last night I was at a business dinner and stood around talking with three other men. One of the men described a lifetime award he had recently received for his work over the years with the Boy Scouts of America, and noted that he had been a regional council president for a number of years. One of the other men asked if he was president when all the uproar happened. My ears perked up at this as I assumed the question was about gays in the Boy Scouts. Yes, he said, he was president of the regional Council at that time, and while he was personally in favor of change, he was surprised at how angry the topic made so many people who were not for change. The conversation continued for a few more minutes exploring the topic. Not once did anyone utter the word gay. It was if the whole conversation was so sensitive that the word could not be said out loud. Continue reading

Flipping the Script

I found this wonderful YouTube video with Janet Mock where she ‘flips the script’ on Fusion’s Alicia Menendez. She asks Alicia what it is like to be a cisgender woman. For those of you new to the term cisgender, or cis for short, it is a term used to describe a gender identity where the individuals experiences of their gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth. Simply put, a straight persons gender identity matches the gender they were assigned at birth. Continue reading