To think about dating a man or to say I am dating feels very comfortable to me, but to say I have a boyfriend puts it in a whole different category.

Wikipedia defines boyfriend this way:

A boyfriend is a regular male companion in a romantic and/or sexual relationship. This is normally a short-term committed relationship, where other titles (e.g. husband, partner) are more commonly used for long-term committed relationships. A boyfriend can also be called an admirer, beau, suitor and sweetheart.

My boyfriend is a regular male companion who I am in a romantic and sexual relationship with. So I guess dating someone does not imply any permanency, while boyfriend denotes something permanent in a short term way.

Maybe it is the sense of permanency and commitment that makes me uncomfortable. When I am spending time with one significant other, I am not very good at maintaining all my other friendships. I have a hard time balancing the two things.

My boyfriend and I have both agreed to have an open relationship, which is what we both wanted and felt strongly about. But I don’t know how to have something casual with one person one day and deep and meaningful with another person the next day. It is a mash-up that seems to lessen the deeper and meaningful feelings I have for my boyfriend. I feel that I am just learning to have real feelings for a man and do not want anything to lessen those feelings.

I am excited that I can say I have a boyfriend and a little scared at the same time. It is a brave new world for me.

So, I guess I have a boyfriend.

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