Mothers Day

This past Sunday was Mothers Day. While I feel my life has moved on in so many ways since separating from my wife almost two years ago, I felt that as the mother of our son, I needed to call her and wish her a happy mothers day. It was a strange feeling because I knew my wife and son would be getting together with my wife’s family to celebrate mothers day. Even though I would not have joined my wife and her family, it felt, none the less, like I had been left out of something. I called her cell. Got her voice mail, and left her a message. She did not call back. Continue reading

Masculine / Discrete

I see many profiles on sites like Grindr and Scruff tags or descriptor that say: masculine only; discrete; no fems. Why? Why, in this day and age where a man in many parts of the country can easily be out and proud, do men want the gay part of their life hidden? While I do understand this thinking, it also makes me angry. In my book, a man that wants to be discrete is immediate disqualification for a potential date. After fighting so hard to be out of the closet and to root out internalized homophobia and shame within myself, I do not want to go back in the closet. Also, the term discrete implies an anonymous hook up without the possibility of anything more. Continue reading

Traveling Man

In my day to day work life I am fully out. Everyone who reports to me at work; my peers; and boss, all know I’m gay. But today I am traveling for business to participate in a product advisory group for a company that my company does business with. One of the subtile questions is do I come out? There is no real need to publicly declare my sexual orientation to people I do not know and yet the question comes up regularly in my mind.  Continue reading

Queer Me

I love the way the younger generations has embraced the word queer. In my generation it was a slur that meant something you definitely did not want to be. It implied a dirtiness and something low life. Today it is a banner proudly worn by many men. When I think of using the word queer to identify myself or my friends I am still a bit uncomfortable. But queer we are and queer we will be. Continue reading

Squeezing the Balloon

My goal in coming out was, in full public view, to fully experience the gay world, find love, and live happily ever after. And while this may read like a teenage fantasy, I think I am accomplishing my goals. I have been happier these last two years than at any point in my adult life. I’ve come out in all aspects of my life and have met a great man that I’ve been dating for the past four months. Continue reading