My partner and I decided to go all out this holiday season. We are hosting a Christmas Eve dinner party at my home followed by a New Year’s Eve party at his home. It has been almost a year since we had our first date at a favorite Indian restaurant. January 4th is our one-year anniversary and it is hard to believe that almost a year has passed.
Relationships are formed in moments, step by step. I am a big fan of old fashioned dating, getting to know someone slowly, and letting the relationship build. The men I know that fall head over heels for another man, and rush into relationships with the vision of happily ever after, can be quickly disappointed. Letting something grow slowly, with each new phase of the relationship building on the last, is like watching a beautiful flower bloom. It builds the relationship on a solid foundation.
Yesterday my partner sent out an Evite to our New Year’s Eve party to thirty of his friends, my friends, and our joint friends. I clicked through to the invitation and marveled at how beautiful it was. It said: “Let’s Celebrate” in beautiful gold script, with the words, “Welcome 2016,” right below. The background was a dark brown/black with golden bubbles floating up. The thing that touched me the most was to see under the word, “Host:” both our names. It felt so meaningful and powerful to see our names together on the invitation. At that moment, which happened to be right before I walked into a business meeting, I swelled up with emotion. And I thought to myself, treasure this moment; enjoy the moment; welcome it in. Determined to carve out a quiet moment later in the day to look at the invitation again.
There are things you do in your life that feel like important steps, but the meaning is not always clear in the moment. Coming out at work was powerful for me. But it was only in retrospect that I saw how big and how important coming out at work had been. I think yesterday’s joint invitation was another one of those moments that was an important step in which the meaning is only beginning to be clear.
I am loving this wonder ride of a gay man coming out in his mid-50’s. It has been a fantastic and powerful journey and I cannot wait to see what is next.
Welcome 2016! Let’s Celebrate.