Where Has The Fight Gone?

I spent years fighting my attraction to men. Then I spent years fighting to come out. Today I am out everywhere in my life. Having fought to come out, now I just want to live my life, which includes time with my sexy partner.  

Some of the fight appears to have gone out of me. I have never been one to make big political statements or fight the system.  My fight has been personal.  But I wonder where the fight has gone? Should I have more fight in me at this point? Should I just ride off into the sunset and live and enjoy my new gay life? 

I would like to have more passion about the issues affecting LGBT people. I would like to have more drive to understand and learn about the lives of LGBT people less fortunate than me. I recognize I am an educated white man, privileged in our society. I have not had to struggle with poverty or lack of education. I want to care more about the large LGBT world I am now part of and the issues that impact it. 

Does Place Matter?

I spent the past week with my boyfriend and two friends at my parents summer home. Four gay men spending a relaxing week at a New England summer resort town. For much of that week, however, I had a surprising level of anxiety and stress.  But last night coming home to my own apartment, with my boyfriend, I felt at ease.  I began to think about the question of place and the role it plays in our lives. 

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Mediation Stress

I thought divorce mediation was supposed to be less stressful than lawyering up.  My wife’s lawyer gave her three names of mediators for us to talk to. I have found the whole process of even having a conversation with these mediators and their assistants ridiculously cumbersome and complicated. All three have office staff that should be fired.  Their staff are incapable of providing basic information.  They mis-schedule meetings.  They promise follow up calls that do not occur.  The entire process has been frustrating and very stressful.

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Finding My Joy – Part II

My parents are in their late 80’s and last year my brother and I took over the management and care of two adjacent summer houses in New England.  We are renting out the larger house for the first time ever this summer and worked for the last year to get the house de-junked, fixed up, spruced up and ready to rent. After making an enormous investment of time and energy to get the house ready, I wanted to enjoy of the fruits of my labor. I carved out a week in August with my partner, and invited two of our friends to join us for a vacation. My parents are staying in the next house. My sister arrived two days after us to spend a week with my parents.
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Finding My Joy – Part I

I felt a level of anxiety, emotional lock down and coolness when I first arrived at my parents summer home.  Two adjacent houses in a lovely New England town.  I am in one house with my partner and a good friend of mine and his boyfriend.  My parents and sister are in the other house.  

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