Reality Intruded – Part 2: The Diagnosis

This Friday morning at 8:00 AM we meet with the oncologist for the diagnosis and treatment plan for my wife’s tumor. I feel like the student who knows the answers to the test before it is given. I spoke with the oncologist today and learned that he believed, with 90% certainty, that my wife has a liposarcoma tumor in her abdominal cavity, and that it was “certainly cancerous”.  Continue reading

Reality Intruded – Part 1: Marriage, Divorce and Cancer

When I left my marriage three years and two months ago to begin my life as a gay man I tried to build a well of good will with my wife and her family. I attended family events like Thanksgiving; tried to make sure that money questions did not become divisive; and made sure that I never spoke badly to my son about his mom.  Continue reading

Falling In Love

baby sleeping with parents

What is love? The LGBTQ movement adopted the phrase, Love is Love, during the marriage equality fight to make the point that when two individuals love each other, it does not matter if the love is between two men or a man and a woman.  Continue reading

The Little Death

Litany Against Fear from the book Dune, by Frank Herbert

There is real death, and then there is what I think of as, the little death. When I use this term I do not mean what people describe as, la petite more, a term that is tied to the feelings at the point of orgasm. I always think of, the little death, as it was described in the book Dune, by Frank Herbert. He writes in the Litany Against Fear: “I have no fear, for fear is the little death that kills me over and over. Without fear, I die but once.”  Continue reading

The Counterpoint

In my prior post, I described some of my thoughts and feelings as I approached beginning divorce mediation with my wife. Before finalizing and posting my last blog post, I made sure that I had a conversation with my partner to share with him what I was feeling and thinking. I did not want him to read intimate thoughts and feelings that touched our relationship for the first time online.  Continue reading

Mr. Robot, Divorce and Coffee

Several months ago, when my partner of a year and eight months and I first discussed the idea of living together, I was very excited. But then I quickly got scared. Although at that time, I had not yet started the divorce process with my wife of 23 years, I had been avoiding doing anything that would rock the boat with her. The early explorations of co-habitation with my partner brought these issues to the forefront.  Continue reading