As a young man experiencing the pleasure of orgasm for the first time it was inconceivable to me that this pleasure could ever go away. If an older person had told my teen or twentysomething self that my orgasms would change and evolve as I aged I do not think I would have believed it.
As I entered my forties, I was diagnosed with low testosterone and began to take either testosterone injections or use testosterone gel, depending mostly on the evolving views of my doctors. Today I give myself weekly injections of Testosterone Cypionate. These testosterone injections had two immediate effects: I felt better and had more energy, but it was also more difficult to urinate.
Around the time I began to approach my fifties, I began to experience three things: difficulty getting and keeping an erection; decreased sensation in my orgasms; and difficulty reaching orgasm. This is my Orgasm Trifecta.
I was also a gay man in a straight marriage, which I found increasingly hard to maintain. Were my orgasmic trifecta problems the result of my being in the closet? Were they tied to my diabetes, even though I was a very well controlled diabetic? Were they the result of normal aging? I did not know the answer to these questions but began to go down a parallel path of self-discovery.
I began to plan to move out of my marriage and to come out as a gay man. This was a painful, multi-year process, which was one of the most difficult of my life. I moved out of my marriage in my early fifties and came out as a gay man.
I also began with my orgasm quest to find out what was going on with my sexual functioning and see how it could be improved. Over the past ten years, I have been to: multiple urologists, some specializing in sexual function; a doctor whose whole practice was sexual functioning; my diabetes doctor; and multiple primary care doctors. From all of these doctors, I heard mostly the same non-answers:
- It was easier to fix premature ejaculation than difficulty ejaculating. In other words, they had no good answers.
- All of these issues were probably the result of my diabetes, they postulated, but they had no way of knowing if this was true or not.
- Erectile dysfunction could be treated with Cialis or similar medication but there was no cure.
- There was nothing they could do for a decline in penis sensation during sex, and a few doctors chalked it up to phycological rather than physical causes, which I strongly disagreed with.
When I first tried Viagra I got a blinding headache and have never used it again. Cialis became my drug of choice. In the beginning, I noticed that Cialis blunted and dulled the sensitivity in my penis, an existing problem that the Cialis made worse. Cialis also made my penis feel overly hard and inflated. I have become used to these feelings with Cialis but they persist to this day.
With one doctor I tried a number of off-label use of prescription drugs to increase my libido, which he felt was part of the issue. Some of these drugs made me so woozy I could barely drive and immediately stopped taking them.
So we arrive in 2019 with all of these problems unsolved. The first treatments that purport to solve some of these issues: erectile dysfunction and loss of penis sensitivity are GAINSWave and the P-Shot.
I am at the beginning of this medical journey and await the outcome of the story.