Two Versions of Myself

two faced

I facilitate peer support meetings for men who are attracted to men and have been married or involved with a woman. In a recent meeting, a man said he felt that there were “two versions of myself.” I felt very much the same for most of my adult life. Continue reading

What Would My Father Think?

gas shortage even number days

Gas shortages of the 1970s led to even and odd calendar day rationing

My father died last month at the age of 92 after a very long decline. He had no chronic condition but six-years ago had a heart valve repair surgery from which he never fully recovered. The rate of his decline was so slow that his caregivers and I were surprised that he did not pass away years ago. Over a period of six years, he slowly made his way towards death. Continue reading

Digital Wedding Bells

wedding rings

When the world is staying at home, and your wedding officiant is across the country fearful of traveling through airports and in planes, the only option left is to move the wedding online. Continue reading

What Do The Birds Think About the Pandemic?

woodpecker on tree

I sat at dinner, looking through the sliding glass door at a small woodpecker, seeming to hop up and down the side of a large tree in our back yard. A curious thought occurred to me: What do the birds think about the pandemic? And the simple answer I had was that they are blissfully ignorant as they go looking for whatever small bugs woodpeckers eat. They move through the world without an inkling of what the human population of the planet is currently experiencing. Continue reading

The Wedding and the Pandemic

wedding_topper_1

Trying our best to get married

I have been dating my partner, now my finance, for over five years. Five years and three months to be exact. We met shortly after I made the decision to come out, had separated from my wife, and moved into my own apartment. We met at a Meetup group that held monthly dinners in local restaurants for gay and bi men. A mutual friend introduced us. But, it would be eight months before we would go on our first date. Continue reading

Isolation In The Time of Pandemic

We have been home now for over a week, leaving for only food and long walks around our neighborhood. Luckily, I am here with my partner, soon to be my husband. We complement each other well and usually do not get on each other’s nerves. But I am anxious to get back to my more active life. I have been asking myself, what do I want to focus on with all this time on my hands? I’ve decided to resurrect this blog, which I used to write in more frequently and to read more. I’ve also decided to watch less news.

Continue reading

Pandemic

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There have been whispers about a coming pandemic for years, but I am stunned by the rapid pace our world has changed.  We are ‘sheltering in place,’ a misnomer of a phrase, as the COVID-19 virus spreads through our country. We are now in week two of our self-imposed isolation, venturing out only for food and walks.  While I long to be busy again, for my partner and me, it has not been a hardship. We have food and enough savings to weather this storm. My partner can work from home while much of my daily plans outside our house, including regular visits to help support my 91-year-old mother in another state, have ceased. Mom is in her apartment alone, the refrigerator and freezer packed with food, and seems to be enjoying her quiet time after the recent passing of my father.  But at 91, she is not able to easily cook for herself and is surviving on mostly premade meals or frozen soup.

I was moved this morning to read about a transgender college student on Vox.com.  The student was living in a homeless shelter and using the campus gym to shower, and the school library to study is now struggling as the homeless shelter has no private space for her to take online classes or study. The article, Campus, dorms closed for coronavirus, leaving some LGBTQ students with nowhere to go, portrays how many college students are affected by their schools being closed because the schools were so much more than education. The schools provided food, medical care, safety net, behavioral therapy, and more.

Day by day, we see our world get smaller. Today our County Executive stated that we were getting very close to a ‘shelter in place order,’ requiring us to stay in our homes, except for food and other limited functions. How this would be enforced and for how long is anybody’s guess.  Given the rapid spread of this virus, I expect we are in for a very long period of our world being shut down.