Toilet Paper

In what world would toilet paper become the symbol of a global pandemic as we sheltering-in-place, social distance and just stay at home?

My husband and I, following our wedding earlier this week went on a search for toilet paper. It was not that we were really out of toilet paper. We had a good supply of toilet paper that would last a few weeks, maybe even a month or more, but it was the fear that we might run out of toilet paper that drove us to make finding toilet paper the most important thing we did after getting married.

You can live without fresh vegetables or your favorite cut of meat but the thought of living without toilet paper is a bit scary. Sure we could always jump in the shower after moving our bowels and use the hand sprayer to give our bum a good clean, but really? The real breakdown of the social fabric of our country begins with running out of toilet paper.

I am fine with staying home day and night, only leaving for the supermarket or drugstore. I am fine thinking up things to keep me busy. Let see, clean my closets; go through those piled up boxes of stuff in my office; file my bills for the last six months. But run out of toilet paper, no way.

So my husband and I began to ask, how much toilet paper do we really use? We had no idea. Given that we have nothing better to do while we stay at home, we have begun tracking our toilet paper usage. In every bathroom, we are tracking the date we put a new roll of toilet paper in the toilet paper holder. Our goal, determine our weekly toilet paper usage and figure out how long our stockpile of toilet paper will last.

We do not plan to report these lofty findings on toilet paper usage in a scientific journal, but it may influence our future buying habits and with not much else to do, it is a bit of fun.

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