About Mixed 57

I'm a gay man. I began coming out in 2012 and am fully out to family, friends, and work. In 2014 I separated from my wife after 20+ years of marriage and began my new gay life. We have one son who I came out to when he was sixteen and who has been consistently supportive. This blog has been a way to make sense of my new life and to capture the lessons I am learning. It's an interesting wonderful powerful time. I love my new life and exploring life as an out gay man. My blog is my journey from first coming out to my wife to the last few wonderful years, including my marriage to my husband and partner of five and a half years. What an incredible journey it has been.

The Camera

I have a vivid memory of a birthday when I was around eight years old. I had gotten a brownie camera that morning, a birthday gift from my parents. I was excitedly running around the house taking pictures. Suddenly dad was angry at me. I had done something wrong in the eyes of my father. I was never exactly sure what I had done. He got angry at me, threatening some kind of punishment. I remember being very hurt that my father was yelling at me on my special day. There was something about me that could bring out my fathers anger, even thought I knew he loved me.

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Day 73

Day 73 at home. This is our new normal. There are things I like about home confinement and there are things I do not. I like sleeping late once in a while and staying up late binging on new steaming shows. I also like the quiet to write this blog and to work on the beginnings of a memoir. My husband and I are wonderful partners to each other in this difficult time. While I miss the occasional dinner out or dinner parties at home or running errands to different stores, I am happy to forgo that to be safe.

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Life in the Pandemic

Somehow my husband and I picked the perfect place to sit out a pandemic. We live in a suburban neighborhood in a rented house. Our small development backs up to a county park. We try and do two loops through the park and neighborhood, which is two miles, for our daily walk, weather permitting. We do not wear masks, which so many of my friends find questionable, but we do not come close to anybody in this low-density area.

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