I will have been with my partner five years this coming January. We have lived together for a year and a half. It has been a wonderful journey but our recent talk of marriage has me all stirred up. Continue reading
Marriage Fear
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Category Archives: anxiety
Minority Stress
Four times a year I board a plan to attend a board meeting as a board member of a company that my employer is part owner of. While I came out last year to about half people who attend this meeting, I have not come out to everyone, and because of that each meeting has a certain level of stress.
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The Little Death
Litany Against Fear
There is real death, and then there is what I think of as, the little death. When I use this term I do not mean what people describe as, la petite more, a term that is tied to the feelings at the point of orgasm. I always think of, the little death, as it was described in the book Dune, by Frank Herbert. He writes in the Litany Against Fear: “I have no fear, for fear is the little death that kills me over and over. Without fear, I die but once.”
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The Counterpoint
In my prior post I described some of my thoughts and feelings as I approached beginning divorce mediation with my wife. Before finalizing and posting my last blog post I made sure that I had a conversation with my partner to share with him what I was feeling and thinking. I did not want him to read intimate thoughts and feelings that touched our relationship for the first time online.
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Mr. Robot, Divorce and Coffee
A number of months ago, when my partner of a year and eight months and I first discussed the idea of living together I was very excited. But then I quickly got very scared. Although at that time I had not yet started the divorce process with my wife of 23 years, I had been avoiding doing anything that would rock the boat with her. The early explorations of co-habitation with my partner brought these issues to the forefront.
Does Place Matter?
I spent the past week with my boyfriend and two friends at my parents summer home. Four gay men spending a relaxing week at a New England summer resort town. For much of that week, however, I had a surprising level of anxiety and stress. But last night coming home to my own apartment, with my boyfriend, I felt at ease. I began to think about the question of place and the role it plays in our lives.
