My Life: Vignettes Over Time – Chapter I

new-life-chapter-1

It is hard to know where to begin when writing a personal history.  Do I start as a small child already feeling different than my peers, or do I begin later when I first began to understand my attraction to men?  Let me tell this story through a series of vignettes over time. Continue reading

Different

Now, “different” is nice, but it sure isn’t pretty
“Pretty” is what it’s about
I never met anyone who was “different”
Who couldn’t figure that out

– At The Ballet from A Chorus Line

I knew I was different from a very young age, even though my mother, grandmother, and aunt tried to turn it into being special. As the character Bebe sings in A Chorus Line, I figured out that I was not like the other boys and it was not a good thing. I did not engage in baseball on the playground, I was completely disinterested in sports and could not get my head around the rules or players’ role in different games. Continue reading

Tell me something wonderful!

My aunt and grandmotherOne of my earliest memories of my aunt was when I was three or four years old. She would tell me stories about a fairy named Matilda that lived in a thimble under her bed. She would talk in a high child like voice as she explained that she would feed Matilda strawberries and cream every morning and they would drink tea from little tiny tea cups and have all kinds of adventures. I believed these stories and thought they were wonderful.  Every night before I went to bed I began to imagine stories about Matilda and later my own stories about a fairy kingdom that I, along with Mr. Dog, my beloved stuffed animal, ruled over.  My own imaginary world, which helped me to fall asleep every night as a child, began with my aunt’s Matilda stories.  Continue reading