Becoming One

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Today I am an out and proud gay man. I am out in every facet of my life. But this has not always been the case.  Continue reading

Hating The Gay Within

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A man that I recently met told me that he liked to have sex with men, but that he did not consider himself gay or bisexual. He did not feel any need to have gay friends and wanted nothing to do with the gay community. I asked him if he ever saw himself having a boyfriend or developing an intimate relationship with another man. He did not. He said that he simply liked sex with men, period. Continue reading

Boy Colored Glasses

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Sitting in a coffee shop this morning I was surprised by the number of cute, sexy men who came in. Some alone, some with other guys and some with women. Texting my partner as I sipped my coffee I told him that there were a lot of cute suburban guys in the coffee shop this morning. It was difficult not to stare. It seemed like the men were cuter than the women. Maybe it is my perspective, I texted. His reply, “You are seeing the world through boy colored glasses.” I guess am. Continue reading

Attracted to Men

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In the 1970s, when I was a teenager, my father worked very hard on a large multi-year project that had a high risk of failure. He worked long hours, was under a lot of stress, and came home tired and irritable. My father was a man of sharp edges. There was always something hard-charging about him. He was not one to cross. Continue reading

Insidious Evil

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My fear in rereading the chapter on Male Homosexuality in David Reuben’s 1969 book, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask), something I had not read since I was fourteen or fifteen, was that his sick distortions about homosexuality would get inside my head. When I finally did reread the chapter, it was so outlandish in its portrayal of homosexuality that it seemed laughable and sad at the same time. Ruben’s utter contempt, breezy sneering, and high minded superiority for homosexuality have an ugly and evil quality. Continue reading

Squeezing the Balloon

My goal in coming out was, in full public view, to fully experience the gay world, find love, and live happily ever after. And while this may read like a teenage fantasy, I think I am accomplishing my goals. 

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