When I look back at my journals from 2012 when I first began to come out, what I wrote extensively about was finding love. I wrote in one journal entry, “I want true love. I want to find that one guy who I can be a soul mate with, that I can be honest and real with and have a deep connection with. Is it possible? I really don’t know. I feel that so many of us are so damaged by this age, that I’m not sure what I want is real or attainable.”Continue reading →
Four times a year I board a plan to attend a board meeting as a board member of a company that my employer is part owner of. While I came out last year to about half people who attend this meeting, I have not come out to everyone, and because of that each meeting has a certain level of stress. Continue reading →
On Saturday my company’s LGBTQ Associate Resource Group walked in the Washington, D.C. Capital Pride Parade. For the second year in a row I walked with coworkers, their friends and family in what can only be described as a joyous event. As we walked and threw beads out to the crowd I was struck by the excitement and joy of the onlookers.
Today I am an out and proud gay man. I am out in every facet of my life. But this has not always been the case. I began dating a woman in 1990, who I fell in love with, and we married two years later. We have a 19 year old son together. While I had know about my attraction to men since I was fourteen, and told my wife when we first started dating, I only began to come out fully about five years ago, and subsequently moved out of my marriage almost three years ago.
A quote that I love and keep on a piece of paper on my desk at work, from a Washington Post article a few years ago, is this:
“Life seems to be a continual act of coming out, isn’t it? The boundaries we think are uncrossable, the unnamable corners of our soul that we live in fear of bringing to light . . . are the very regions that allow us to feel complete if we dare to explore them. So thank you for crossing borders, shining a light into those corners — they only make you more lovable, more admirable.”
I love this quote because it reminds me to be who I am, and how coming out makes me more true to who I am and more complete.
My partner and I decided to go all out this holiday season. We are hosting a Christmas Eve dinner party at my home followed by a New Year’s Eve party at his home. It has been almost a year since we had our first date at a favorite Indian restaurant. January 4th is our one-year anniversary and it is hard to believe that almost a year has passed. Continue reading →