In The Shade

I told my mother today that I was dating someone. To be more accurate, I asked her if my father had told her, since I had mentioned it to him the week before. She, being very precise, said that he had told her that I had a boyfriend. This made me wonder exactly what the difference was between a boyfriend and dating someone. Saying I am dating someone seems to me a more natural thing to say. The term boyfriend seems oddly formed when it comes from my lips. It feels almost unnatural. Continue reading


I was traveling last week on business. Upon checking into my hotel I did what many gay male travelers do: I pulled out my iPhone and began checking out the local men on my apps: Grindr, Scruff, Mr X and Manhunt, to see who was out there. I have learned that different apps are more popular in different geographic areas so sometimes one app like Scruff, which is great in Washington, D.C, may not be good somewhere else. Continue reading

Green Lantern

When I looked down at my wedding ring, like the ring the Green Lantern wore that gave him his power, I imagined my ring had the world see only the straight married man.  My ring exerted a powerful force field that hid all the chaos inside and kept my torment about my sexuality hidden. This is a true story about how I felt inside all those years. Continue reading

Finding Love

In a letter to my parents, posted on this blog, titled Dear Mom and Dad, I talked about my life this past year and what coming out meant to me. My parents reacted wonderfully to the letter and both said that they did not know that so many opportunities and organizations existed in the LGBT world. Which did not surprise me, since neither of them have had much exposure to the gay world. My mother said that she cried at points in the letter. But when I asked my mother if anything I wrote surprised her, she said that yes, she was surprised that I said I was looking for love. Continue reading

Dear Mom and Dad

dear-mom-and-dadDear Mom and Dad,

It has been a year and two months since I moved out of my marriage and house and into my new life. While the transition actually began two years before I moved out, moving out was the catalyst for tremendous personal growth and change in my life. Continue reading

Coming Out Later In Life

coming out later in life 2

As I’ve gotten to know other men who have been married and now identify as gay, separating from their wives has come with various levels of pain. I count myself among the lucky men, because as difficult as it was to move out of my house and separate from my wife, starting a new life has been wonderful in so many ways. I have felt freedom, honesty, and integrity that I never had before, ever! The pain of hiding, since puberty, my sexual orientation, is gone. Continue reading

Thoughts on Dating

gay dating

One of the surprises in coming out in my mid-50s has been dating—It’s been a lot of fun. Before coming out I was worried that I would fail miserably at dating. I was worried that my dating skills were too rusty and that I would make a fool of myself on a date with another man. I also thought that having been married to a woman would be a dating liability. None of this turned out to be true. I found out that I’m a good conversationalist. I’ve also learned that I have a way of making other people feel comfortable and at ease, all of which is a good thing when on a date. Continue reading