No Longer Home

Since before my wife’s death this past April, I began to live in the house that I had moved out of four years earlier when I began my life as an out gay man. I had never planned to live in our house again. But that all changed as my wife’s health declined from terminal cancer.  Continue reading

The Little Death

Litany Against Fear from the book Dune, by Frank Herbert

There is real death, and then there is what I think of as, the little death. When I use this term I do not mean what people describe as, la petite more, a term that is tied to the feelings at the point of orgasm. I always think of, the little death, as it was described in the book Dune, by Frank Herbert. He writes in the Litany Against Fear: “I have no fear, for fear is the little death that kills me over and over. Without fear, I die but once.”  Continue reading

Full Force

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The paradox of who I am today and the functioning of my body at fifty-eight years old is not what I once expected of growing older. I began to come out in my early fifties after years of hiding who I was and trying to tamp down my attraction to men. Finally when I come out, full force, my body no longer works the way it once did.   Continue reading