Becoming One

Coming Out At Work

Today I am an out and proud gay man. I am out in every facet of my life. But this has not always been the case. I began dating a woman in 1990, who I fell in love with, and we married two years later. We have a 19 year old son together. While I had know about my attraction to men since I was fourteen, and told my wife when we first started dating, I only began to come out fully about five years ago, and subsequently moved out of my marriage almost three years ago.

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The Fear Door

As I’ve moved through the journey of coming out these past years, every time that I’ve taken a step forward, in spite of my fear, it has ultimately been positive.  The fear door, once stepped through, has unknowns on the other side.  For me, the wonder of what is on the other side of the fear door is part of the excitement. Continue reading

The Best Period of My Life

Life at it’s best! June 15, 2013, the day I moved into my apartment and out of my marriage, to today, has been the best period of my adult life. Not that there have not been periods, events, moments before last June that were wonderful. But these last fourteen months, taken as a whole, have been incredible. From that first night in my apartment until today, I have had a fantastic time and transformed my life to a fully out gay man with a rich and diverse group of friends. Continue reading

Fighting the Whittling Away of Desire

As a teenager, when I thought about my life to come, I thought about how I would make my mark on the world. I would ask myself what I could be or do in the world where I could leave a mark? Would I be famous? I would imagine all sorts of possibilities. But it was more than famous, it was doing something great in the world that people would respect and know me for. I think these are the questions most teenagers ask themselves. Continue reading

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,

It has been a year and two months since I moved out of my marriage and home and into my new life. While the transition actually began two years before I moved out, moving out was the catalyst for tremendous personal growth and change in my life. Continue reading

Putting The Life Back Into My Life

Between the launch of my companies LGBT resource group, where I will be the executive sponsor, and interviewing to join the Board of Directors of a nonprofit LGBT health organization, my life is about to launch into the next phase of this amazing journey. Continue reading

Moving Through Fear

Every step of coming out of the closet, even when you are already out, has an element of fear. Today in a staff meeting the head of Human Resources announced the formation of Resource or Affinity groups at our company, starting with LGBT and Veterans this year, followed by others next year. She also announced that I would be the executive sponsor for the LGBT group. Even though I had come out to everyone at the meeting, I was surprised how nervous and scared I was. It felt like stepping on the world stage and being very out and very public. Continue reading