How does a woman, raised in the south by a father who was a new deal democrat, slowly become a conservative? I always believed that my father, an early neo-conservative, was a major influence on my mother, but as I spend more time with mom since my father’s passing, I think the answer is more complex.
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My father was a pilot. He did not fly professionally but it was one of his passions. I remember in the 1960s he would practice takes off and landings in a two seater Mooney, with me in the copilot seat, at Philadelphia International Airport. There was a thrill of seeing jumbo jets taking off before us as we followed behind them in our little plane.
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“Make sure your vision and your goals are bigger than your fears.”
I love this quote. I heard it this past Sunday evening by Miss Coco Peru in her live-streamed program. Continue reading
Somehow my husband and I picked the perfect place to sit out a pandemic. We live in a suburban neighborhood in a rented house. Our small development backs up to a county park. We try and do two loops through the park and neighborhood, which is two miles, for our daily walk, weather permitting. We do not wear masks, which so many of my friends find questionable, but we do not come close to anybody in this low-density area.
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We have been home now for over a week, leaving for only food and long walks around our neighborhood. Luckily, I am here with my partner, soon to be my husband. We complement each other well and usually do not get on each other’s nerves. But I am anxious to get back to my more active life. I have been asking myself, what do I want to focus on with all this time on my hands? I’ve decided to resurrect this blog, which I used to write in more frequently and to read more. I’ve also decided to watch less news.
As I have tried to think through why talk of marriage to my partner continues to cause a level of anxiety I have landed on the wedding kiss as one of the key triggers. Continue reading
I will have been with my partner for five years this coming January. We have lived together for a year and a half. It has been a wonderful journey but our recent talk of marriage has me all stirred up. Continue reading
Litany Against Fear from the book Dune, by Frank Herbert
There is real death, and then there is what I think of as, the little death. When I use this term I do not mean what people describe as, la petite more, a term that is tied to the feelings at the point of orgasm. I always think of, the little death, as it was described in the book Dune, by Frank Herbert. He writes in the Litany Against Fear: “I have no fear, for fear is the little death that kills me over and over. Without fear, I die but once.” Continue reading
A few weeks ago I asked my boyfriend to join me on a visit to my parents. This would be the first time I have ever brought a man that I was dating home to meet my parents. As soon as I asked him to come with me to visit my parents, I immediately became filled with fear. I began to have thought about him seeing my parent’s large house, their money and meeting my extended family with their prying questions. For a few days, the thoughts almost immobilized me. Continue reading
