The Man for Right Now

A common refrain I have heard from older men, coming out later in life, after marriages to women, is this: “I have found the man of my dreams. I’m so happy.” That is, of course, until a few weeks later, when I hear, “It was incredible until he broke my heart. I’m devastated.”

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No Longer Myself

What alters our sense of self?  How do major life events make us feel less ourselves, and at times, have us lose sight of who we are? Continue reading

All Things Gay

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I often think about how lucky I am. From the first tentative painful steps in coming out five years ago to today, where I am fully out in all parts of my life. I am sometimes amazed at how far I have traveled and how well it has gone. Here are just a few of the things that I have been involved with in the past few weeks: Continue reading

Building Relationships, Slowly

The Marriage Equality movement, with the focus group, tested message, Love is Love, is powerful. Young gay men just coming out today are entering a world where love, intimacy, and commitment are vividly made real between two men. 

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Gay Boy Marching

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Coming out at 55 years of age leaves a gay gap in my memories. I sat on the sidelines as AIDS raged. I walked the other direction in New York City when I realized the gay pride parade was in full wildness in the mid-1990s. When learned that an old friend of mine, Ken, had died of AIDS, I went to the memorial service, but then returned to my life in the closet.  Continue reading

Why It’s Sandra Bullock!

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I really have only done drag once in my life, if you do not include the Rocky Horror costume I made my first year in college for halloween. My most recent drag experience was at a workshop I took a year ago the week before I separated from my wife. The workshop itself is hard to sum up, but simply put, it was a personal growth workshop for men of all sexual persuasions, but most attendees were gay. Continue reading

A Whole Life

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I had dinner with my wife on Monday. We have been separated for almost a year and a half. It was a nice, easy, relaxed dinner. We both have clearly overcome some of the pain and hurt of our separation and my coming out. Although, my wife’s pain is not to far below the surface, and I can not really talk to her about my life today without that pain quickly coming out. Continue reading