It is hard to know where to begin when writing a personal history. Do I start as a small child already feeling different than my peers, or do I begin later when I first began to understand my attraction to men? Let me tell this story through a series of vignettes over time. Continue reading
Category Archives: gay man
Different
Now, “different” is nice, but it sure isn’t pretty
“Pretty” is what it’s about
I never met anyone who was “different”
Who couldn’t figure that out– At The Ballet from A Chorus Line
I knew I was different from a very young age, even though my mother, grandmother, and aunt tried to turn it into being special. As the character Bebe sings in A Chorus Line, I figured out that I was not like the other boys, and it was not a good thing. I did not engage in baseball on the playground, I was utterly disinterested in sports and could not get my head around the rules or players’ role in different games. Continue reading
No Longer Home
Since before my wife’s death this past April, I began to live in the house that I had moved out of four years earlier when I began my life as an out gay man. I had never planned to live in our house again. But that all changed as my wife’s health declined from terminal cancer. Continue reading
Finding My Joy – Part II
My parents are in their late 80’s and last year my brother and I took over the management and care of two adjacent summer houses in New England. We are renting out the larger house for the first time ever this summer and worked for the last year to get the house de-junked, fixed up, spruced up and ready to rent. Continue reading
Nantucket Reds
Walking around Nantucket yesterday brought up emotions in me that date back to my childhood. My reaction to seeing a certain type of well to do men and women, dressed in elite preppy styles, full of self-confidence and sureness, implying a closed exclusive world, is not good. It makes me cringe inside and feel uncomfortable. It also encourages my contempt. Continue reading
Fever
I came down to Philadelphia to watch my three and a half-year-old niece for three days while my brother and sister-in-law went to Las Vegas for the birthday of one of his oldest friends. Yesterday, day one, was easy. My niece was in pre-school most of the morning so I got to go to the gym and run some errands. Today, day two, was another story. Continue reading
Good News, Bad News
My father had major heart surgery yesterday to reconstruct his mitral valve. It was done robotically with five small incisions. For an 87-year-old man, who is less than 36 hours out of surgery, he is doing amazingly well. Continue reading
Two Gift Baskets
On Saturday my boyfriend and I went to a wonderful five-star restaurant. At the end of the meal, couples were given a single lovely cardboard basket, made to look like the small inn we were at, filled with a small sampling of cookies, chocolates, and fruit jellies. Continue reading
Joy and Rapture
There is a guy who I thought was cute when I first met him at a Meetup event last year. I invited him to a party I had at my home over the holidays. He then sent me a Shout-Out on the MR App which said: geekster thinks you’re handsome. I replied that I thought he was handsome too, and we were off and running. Continue reading
Not Your Shame Alone
I received an email from a man in his mid 50’s who is married, considers himself gay, has never been with a man sexually, and feels tremendously guilty and ashamed. He asked me: “Does anyone else have this similar situation – or am I the only 55-year-old virgin to sex with a man who is afraid to change his present situation?” Continue reading