Pandemic

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With HIV a manageable disease today, I felt that coming out later in life had its pluses. I hid from the terror of AIDS and HIV for years. In fact, it was AIDS arriving on the scene that was one important factor that had me go back deeply into the closet after a few years straddling the fence. While COVID-19 is a different kind of disease than HIV and AIDS, today we all live in fear of the stranger.  Continue reading

World AIDS Day: Viewing Desert Migration

Tonight I attended a screening of the film, Desert Migration. The film is a documentary about long-term survivors of HIV/AIDS. The film tells a powerful story of different individuals, all long-term HIV/AIDS survivors, living in Palm Springs, CA. I have read about the complex set of issues facing long term HIV/AIDS survivors but have no personal experience in this area. I was very moved by the film and the filmmaker’s powerful way of letting each men tell their story in a raw, unfiltered manner.

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Almost Infected

Sometime after December of 1992 I got a call from Sharon, an old girlfriend of mine. Our friend Ken had died of AIDS and she was pulling together a memorial service. I had not known Ken was sick. Sharon told me how she had taken care of Ken and nursed him in the final months of his life. I remember her telling me how horrendous Ken’s final days were in the hospital and how he suffered. I had not known until her phone call that Sharon and Ken were even close.

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In The Shade

I told my mother today that I was dating someone. To be more accurate, I asked her if my father had told her, since I had mentioned it to him the week before. She, being very precise, said that he had told her that I had a boyfriend. This made me wonder exactly what the difference was between a boyfriend and dating someone. Saying I am dating someone seems to me a more natural thing to say. The term boyfriend seems oddly formed when it comes from my lips. It feels almost unnatural. Continue reading

Craving the Closet? Fuck that Shit!

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I spoke to my mother today and asked if she had heard from my father that I had applied for a board seat with a nonprofit LGBT health care organization. As I described the organization, she asked, ‘Is that the only group they serve?’, meaning gay and lesbian. My father had asked the exact same question two days earlier. I explained that they served the whole community, but specialized in gay and lesbian health and was known for their care of HIV patients. Continue reading