My Life: Vignettes Over Time – Part IV

next chapter

When I look back at my journals from 2012 when I first began to come out, what I wrote extensively about was finding love. I wrote in one journal entry, “I want true love. I want to find that one guy who I can be a soul mate with, that I can be honest and real with and have a deep connection with. Is it possible? I really don’t know. I feel that so many of us are so damaged by this age, that I’m not sure what I want is real or attainable.” Continue reading

The Normality Of It

gay life 2

I participate in a support group for gay and bisexual men who are or have been married or are in relation to a woman. In a recent meeting, I was struck by something one man said. This is a man who is married, living with his wife, but not out to her. When he thinks about a future life with a man, he wants “the normality of it.” Continue reading

The New Normal

modigliani with mask

It has been over a month since we have been isolated in our home, avoiding all social contact, leaving only to go to the supermarket or drug store. While my days have the feeling of ‘groundhog day’, I can not say I am overly bothered by it. In some ways, I like this slower pace. I am someone who usually fills up my day with plans and appointments, generally too busy to take a breath. Being home has let me resume writing this blog and to experience life at a slower pace. But boredom is beginning to set in. Continue reading

A Newly Married Man

newly married

As a newly married man, I am finding some interesting things about this venerable institution. For one the sex is better. I do not know why but getting married has rekindled a greater passion between me and my husband. I also find myself looking at my newly minted husband through fresh eyes: ‘you are the one I plan to spend the rest of my life with’, and it is nice. Continue reading

The Wedding and the Pandemic

wedding_topper_1

Trying our best to get married

I have been dating my partner, now my finance, for over five years. Five years and three months to be exact. We met shortly after I made the decision to come out, had separated from my wife and moved into my own apartment. We met at a Meetup group that held monthly dinners in local restaurants for gay and bi men. A mutual friend introduced us. But, it would be eight months before we would go on our first date. Continue reading