Minority Stress

 

Four times a year I board a plane to attend a board meeting as a board member of a company that my employer is part owner of. While I came out last year to about half the people who attend this meeting, I have not come out to everyone, and because of that, each meeting has a certain level of stress.  Continue reading

Nantucket Reds

92644

Walking around Nantucket yesterday brought up emotions in me that date back to my childhood. My reaction to seeing a certain type of well to do men and women, dressed in elite preppy styles, full of self-confidence and sureness, implying a closed exclusive world, is not good. It makes me cringe inside and feel uncomfortable. It also encourages my contempt.  Continue reading

Almost Infected

wpid-photo-20151112062847296

Ken Nissman’s Obituary from the New York Times

Sometime after December of 1992, I got a call from Sharon, an old girlfriend of mine. Our friend Ken had died of AIDS and she was pulling together a memorial service. I had not known Ken was sick. Sharon told me how she had taken care of Ken and nursed him in the final months of his life. I remember her telling me how horrendous Ken’s final days were in the hospital and how he suffered. I had not known until her phone call that Sharon and Ken were even close. Continue reading

Sexuality and Aging

0D9CD4EB-B464-4586-844FBA2CF54B1F29_source

When you are in your 20’s no one ever tells you how your body will age sexually. You just think it will go on with the same intensity and functionality forever. But the reality is a bit different. Continue reading

Meeting The Parents

098893421706e3469c8c85afa4f16f30

A few weeks ago I asked my boyfriend to join me on a visit to my parents. This would be the first time I have ever brought a man that I was dating home to meet my parents. As soon as I asked him to come with me to visit my parents, I immediately became filled with fear. I began to have thought about him seeing my parent’s large house, their money and meeting my extended family with their prying questions. For a few days, the thoughts almost immobilized me. Continue reading

Me and Football

Photo 20150731074332006

The men stood around the large 36-inch color TV, encased in the fine wood finish of an expensive 1960’s television. They spoke a language that was indecipherable to me. Grunts and cheers. Screaming at the TV. “Ah, Christ, that was a terrible call.” “Go! Go! What’s the matter with you?” They spoke a raw angry tribal language I did not understand. The violence of their shouting frightened me. I was probably five or six years old. Continue reading

Owning It

IMG_0312-300x200

Ian Harvey (Credit: SEESO)

Last week I went to Harrisburg, PA to see the comedian Ian Harvie perform. It was a great evening. His humor is so fresh and honest. He talks about his experience of being a trans man in a way that brings you into the experience with ease and humor. Continue reading

Unbridgeable Difference

internalized-homophobia (1)

I’m reading a wonderful memoir called, Body Counts by Sean Strub. He and I are close in age and many of the places in New York that he went to in the 1970s, I went as well: a gay bar in the West Village called the Ninth Circle; Studio 54; the St. Marks Bath. I downloaded Body Counts by chance, not knowing much about Strub or his story. It just looked interesting. I am surprised by how well the book is written, with wonderful color and detail. Strub tells the story of AIDS from a deeply personal perspective while putting into context what was happening in the world at the time. Continue reading