Stepping Out and Starting Over

When is it too late to start over? I know a man in his late sixties who only discovered that he was gay a few years ago. As he has worked through what he wants for his life he recently made the decision that finding intimacy and possibly love with another man was important to him. After forty five years of marriage to a woman, he has decided to make a few changes.

Continue reading

My Biological Clock is Ticking

What are the effects on the mind and body of being in the closet and hiding who we are? All of us who have lived in the closet have gone through periods where it was easier to hide and periods where it was much harder.

Continue reading

The Middle Ground

Homophobia

At one point on the long road to separation and coming out, my wife asked me during a particularly painful conversation, ‘So, are you doing this just for sex? You are not 21, you know!’ No, I said, I was not doing it for the sex, (although to myself I thought that the sex part would be nice). Primarily I was separating because I believed that if I didn’t leave and leave soon, I risked nothing less than the death of my soul. Now I know the phrase ‘death of my soul’ sounds just a bit dramatic, but that’s how I saw it. What I tried to explain to her, quite badly, was that I desperately needed, for whatever time I had left on earth, to live honestly, with a sense of integrity in the world. Continue reading