When a famous person or politician, usually a man, gets caught having inappropriate sex, there is often a nashing of teeth about how he could have “thrown it all away” for sex. Well, I think I know the answer to that question.Continue reading
I came out to my future wife on our second date. At the time my attraction to men seemed manageable and for many reasons, including years trying to change from homosexuality, something that I felt at the time was mostly in the past. We spent an intense two months wrestling with this issue before agreeing to continue dating. We married two years later. The topic of my attraction to men soon went underground for the next twenty-two years.Continue reading
Sometime after December of 1992 I got a call from Sharon, an old girlfriend of mine. Our friend Ken had died of AIDS and she was pulling together a memorial service. I had not known Ken was sick. Sharon told me how she had taken care of Ken and nursed him in the final months of his life. I remember her telling me how horrendous Ken’s final days were in the hospital and how he suffered. I had not known until her phone call that Sharon and Ken were even close.
Oh, the sex I could have had. I came of age in the wild and hedonistic period of gay culture, the 1970’s, where disco music ruled. While I was not very active in gay culture, I would occasionally foray out. I remember one night in college, dancing shirtless at a bar at the foot of Christopher Street and the West Side Highway, packed with hot, sweaty men. It was an incredible intoxicating experience. But that night was more of the exception. Most of my life, at this time, was generally more contained and controlled.
When I was first beginning to explore the gay world of the late 1970’s the possibility of having a loving, intimate relationship with a man did not appear, to me, to be possible. Continue reading
To think about dating a man or to say I am dating feels very comfortable to me, but to say I have a boyfriend puts it in a whole different category. Continue reading
I was traveling last week on business. Upon checking into my hotel I did what many gay male travelers do: I pulled out my iPhone and began checking out the local men on my apps: Grindr, Scruff, Mr X and Manhunt, to see who was out there. I have learned that different apps are more popular in different geographic areas so sometimes one app like Scruff, which is great in Washington, D.C, may not be good somewhere else. Continue reading
If coming out was just about the sex, I would have stayed in the closet. Sex is easy to find. But as I have aged and matured I want something more meaningful then a trick or friend with benefits.
Aging, diabetes, low testosterone, all take their toll on my 56-year-old self. Sex ain’t what it used to be. I remember in my 20’s and 30’s that sex was such a core part of my thought process and how my body functioned. Noticing men on the street and getting all stirred up. I still notice handsome men but the excitement, or stir, as I would call it, is not quite as intense, doesn’t last as long. Ah, the good old days. Continue reading