The Sex I Could Have Had

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Oh, the sex I could have had. I came of age in the wild and hedonistic period of gay culture, the 1970s, where disco music ruled. While I was not very active in gay culture, I would occasionally foray out. I remember one night in college, dancing shirtless at a bar at the foot of Christopher Street and the West Side Highway, packed with hot, sweaty men. It was an incredible intoxicating experience. But that night was more of an exception. Most of my life, at this time, was generally more contained and controlled. Continue reading

Texted, Circa 2015

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My son texted me today with a simple question: “Hey, remember when we went to Florida with grandma, grandpa, my cousins, and everyone. How old was I?” In a digital age, all information is accessible, and I began to look online at my pictures that are backed up online. I quickly found a family picture from that trip to celebrate my mother’s 80th birthday dated December 2008 and texted my son. Continue reading

Reality, Circa 1971

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As a child, I knew that I was different. I didn’t care for team sports. To this day I don’t understand football. In third grade at recess, I preferred to sit with my friend Billy at the base of a large tree and create a whole imaginary world with sticks and leaves while all the other boys in my all-boys school played baseball. Continue reading

Owning It

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Ian Harvey (Credit: SEESO)

Last week I went to Harrisburg, PA to see the comedian Ian Harvie perform. It was a great evening. His humor is so fresh and honest. He talks about his experience of being a trans man in a way that brings you into the experience with ease and humor. Continue reading

My Relationship to My Sexuality

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There is a gap between my vision of myself and the reality of self. I am much more conservative sexually and in relationships than I would like to think of myself. In marriage to a woman, I definitely chose a by the book closed relationship; faithful to each other until close to the end. Continue reading

The Space Between

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The time between realizing quietly to yourself that you are gay or bisexual, and telling your female partner or spouse is one of the most difficult and lonely periods of life. Trying to decide the right course of action can eat a man up inside and cause all sorts of emotional pain. Continue reading

Less Than Everyone Else?

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Walking to my car yesterday morning, I noticed the HRC logo bumper sticker I had placed on the rear bumper of my car a few months ago. The day I put it on, I did so with a bit of fear and trepidation. I wondered if the car would be vandalized because of the sticker. I wondered if people would honk or give me the finger as a friend of mine had shared happened to him. But more than anything else this little bit of public display stirred up an old fear that I would be seen as less than everyone else. Continue reading