When we think about my own coming out to family and friends, it filled with anxiety, fear and indecision. What will they think of me? Will they still be in my life or will they turn away from me when they know who I am? What kind of hurt and pain will I be causing?Continue reading
With HIV a manageable disease today, I felt that coming out later in life had its pluses. I hid from the terror of AIDS and HIV for years. In fact, it was AIDS arriving on the scene that was one important factor that had me go back deeply into the closet after a few years straddling the fence. While COVID-19 is a different kind of disease than HIV and AIDS, today we all live in fear of the stranger. Continue reading
I just finished reading the newly published book, Becoming Nicole: The Transformation of an American Family by Amy Ellis Nutt. It is a fascinating, well written story about what it means to be transgender in todays world. Nutt tells the story of the Maines family interspersed with chapters on the history and most current scientific understanding of what it means to be transgender. The book is a portrait of a family and their journey from the adoption of two male twins, and the belief by one of the twins, almost from his birth, that he was a girl inside.
As the executive sponsor for my company’s LGBT Employee Resource Group as well as an out gay executive in the company, I started to talk, last month, with the head of human resources, who is responsible for the health insurance that our employees receive, about adding transgender health insurance coverage. This year transgender benefits were excluded from health insurance coverage for our employees.
As much I have read about the transgender experience through a number of biographies of trans men and women, and through a few trans individuals I have gotten to know, the trans experience, while more known to me, still feels so different from my own life as a gay man. What I have found most meaningful in the biographies of trans individuals is seeing the similarities with men, like myself, who came out later in life, and being trans but hidden. We both went through parts of our lives hiding who we truly were before deciding we had to come out as gay or trans.
A few years ago, before I came out, and long before I came out at work, I studiously hid even the slightest mention of anything gay. Since coming out at work last year and becoming the executive sponsor for my company’s newly formed LGBT Associate Resource Group, I have marveled as some of the LGBT related conversations I have had in the workplace. Continue reading
I continue to be interested and read about the experiences of transgender men and women. Today it seems like trans is everywhere — in the news and on TV. Just yesterday the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced proposed rules to extend nondiscrimination laws to cover transgender individuals under the Affordable Care Act. This is an amazing and important step that I could not have imagined a year ago. Continue reading
I’m reading a wonderfully written book, She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan. The story is about a man, James Boylan who became Jennifer Boylan and her journey. Continue reading
Last year I made my first visit to Provincetown. I went with a friend of mine for what turned out to be a wonderful trip. It was just long enough to get a feel for the fabled gay vacation spot and experience some of what P-town has to offer. Continue reading
Coming out so late in life, for me, was not just about sexuality. It was about discovering all aspects of the gay world. One of those discovery events happened this week.