In the early 1970s, the choices for my life were stark. My father showed me a model of the rugged individualist. Then there was my attraction to men and the life that homosexuality seemed to promise. Neither was what I wanted. Continue reading
At 59 years old I am faced with an interesting set of choices. After working in the corporate world with a focus on information systems for the past 32 years in primarily profit driven companies, I have the opportunity to take a leadership role in a highly mission driven organization that provides consulting, services and programs around the world. It is an exciting opportunity but one that has me question what really is next for me. At a time when many people are looking to slow down I feel I have new vitality and excitement about the world. Coming out as a gay man has freed me to continually discover and learn who and what I am.
I am fully out at the company where I work. I came out as a gay man over a year and a half ago. But when I work outside the four walls of my company, it can feel like I am back in the closet. I serve on the board of directors of a company that my company owns along with six other companies. Four times a year I fly off to different cities for the board meetings. I have never come out to my fellow board members. One of the Vice President’s of the company, on whose board I serve, is an out lesbian, and I am out to her. She is a ray of light to me in this staid business relationship.
This morning I attended a breakfast hosted by my company’s Political Action Committee (PAC) for a local political candidate. There were about forty of us in the room. One of the cool things about the meeting was looking around the room and realizing how many individuals from the company’s LGBT Associate Resource Group were attending the event. I counted five gay men, including myself, which I thought was quite wonderful. And of course there might have been other LGBT people attending, but who are not out at work.
As I’ve gotten to know other men who have been married and now identify as gay, separating from their wives has come with various levels of pain. I count myself among the lucky men, because as difficult as it was to move out of my house and separate from my wife, starting a new life has been wonderful in so many ways. I have felt freedom, honesty, and integrity that I never had before, ever! The pain of hiding, since puberty, my sexual orientation, is gone. Continue reading
On a plane heading off to vacation last December, I decided to write down my goals for 2014. Somewhat to my surprise, the first thing I put on the list was coming out at work. I had thought about coming out at work for a few months, but it didn’t really take shape in my mind until I was sitting on the plane writing my goals. I had only separated from my wife and moved out on my own last June after coming out to her two years earlier. But the time between last June and this May seems like a lifetime, and I have grown and changed significantly.
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There are many times I look at my life and the success I’ve had. Work is a place that I’ve always been successful and with every job attained greater and greater responsibility. Continue reading
