Coming out as a gay man after being involved or married to a woman often poses a unique set of challenges, particularly if the man is older, has been married for a long time and has children.  Below are some resources I have become aware of that I believe has value:

GAMMA – An in-person peer support group in a number of cities in the United States and abroad.  GAMMA provides support in a confidential setting, but does not replace therapy.  GAMMA does not have one path men should follow, and works to support men in determining the right path for their lives. Information can be found on

Husbands Out to Wives is an on-line membership only support group for gay and bisexual men who are married to women and are out to (or working toward coming out to) their wives. HOW does not give advice but relates through men’s personal experiences. HOW does not have one path a man should follow and is welcoming of the different choices about marriage men can make. HOW’s homepage for their listserve is:

Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work is an on-line membership only support group for men and women who are in mixed orientation marriages. Straight spouses who are married to gays or bisexuals and also the married gays and bisexuals themselves. MMOMW is a Yahoo Group that can be found at: You will need a Yahoo email account to access Yahoo Groups and must request access to this private group.

Alternate Paths is a website that provides information about Mixed Orientation Marriages – specifically how to stay together and make them work. They can be found at:

HUGS is an acronym for Hope-Understanding-Growth-Support. The HUGS_Couples is a Yahoo Group for couples of mixed sexual orientation who are working to keep their relationship strong and growing. It provides a positive environment where these couples can EXPRESS their concerns, SHARE their successes, and GIVE and RECEIVE support and encouragement. They can be found at:

Alternate Path is a Yahoo Group for women seeking help with finding alternative solutions to divorcing their Bi/Gay husband. This group wants to provide positive discussions that will help wives adjust to the news that their husband is gay/bi. They can be found at: