Coming out as a gay man after being involved or married to a woman often poses a unique set of challenges, particularly if the man is older, has been married for a long time and has children.  Below are some resources I have become aware of that I believe has value:

GAMMA – GAMMA is a peer support group for men who are gay, bisexual, questioning or don’t identify themselves as any of the above, but who are attracted to men; and who are, or who were, married or otherwise involved with a woman. ​Meeting are held in-person in selected cities and virtually through video meeting for men across the country. GAMMA provides support in a confidential setting, but does not replace therapy.  GAMMA does not have one path men should follow, and works to support men in determining the right path for their lives. Information can be found at

Husbands Out to Wives is an on-line membership only support group for gay and bisexual men who are married to women and are out to (or working toward coming out to) their wives. HOW does not give advice but relates through men’s personal experiences. HOW does not have one path a man should follow and is welcoming of the different choices about marriage men can make. HOW’s can be found at

Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work is an on-line membership only support group for men and women who are in mixed orientation marriages. Straight spouses who are married to gays or bisexuals and also the married gays and bisexuals themselves. MMOMW can be found at:

Alternate Paths is a website that provides information about Mixed Orientation Marriages – specifically how to stay together and make them work. They can be found at:

HUGS is an acronym for Hope-Understanding-Growth-Support. The HUGS_Couples is a  for couples of mixed sexual orientation who are working to keep their relationship strong and growing. It provides a positive environment where these couples can EXPRESS their concerns, SHARE their successes, and GIVE and RECEIVE support and encouragement. They can be found at