For A Brief Moment

At fourteen years old I discovered my attraction to men. My friend Josh and I had taken the train down to Philadelphia on a Saturday afternoon planning to wander around the city. There was a section back then on Sampson Street that was being touted as the next Greenwich Village and that is where we headed to.

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Base Desires

When a famous person or politician, usually a man, gets caught having inappropriate sex, there is often a nashing of teeth about how he could have “thrown it all away” for sex. Well, I think I know the answer to that question.

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My Life: Vignettes Over Time – Chapter I

new-life-chapter-1

It is hard to know where to begin when writing a personal history.  Do I start as a small child already feeling different than my peers, or do I begin later when I first began to understand my attraction to men?  Let me tell this story through a series of vignettes over time. Continue reading

The Normality Of It

gay life 2

I participate in a support group for gay and bisexual men who are or have been married or are in relation to a woman. In a recent meeting, I was struck by something one man said. This is a man who is married, living with his wife, but not out to her. When he thinks about a future life with a man, he wants “the normality of it.” Continue reading

Wonderful Discovery

One of the stereotypes of gay men that I acquired around the age of fifteen, reading the homosexuality chapter of a terrible book about sex, was that gay relationships were fleeting; that gay men soon tired of each other as men continued their relentless pursuit of sex with other men; and that the idea of a deep loving passionate relationship between men was not possible. As much as I have changed over the last five years, I think this stereotype still lived on in the recesses of my mind.  Continue reading

Ageless

After traveling to New York City on Amtrak, I headed for the F subway train, carrying my suitcase and backpack up and down the stairs. I got off the F train at the Lexington avenue stop and followed the signs to the uptown 6 train. The signs took everyone to a narrow broken escalator that looked to connect us to the floor above.  Continue reading

Deeply Romantic

I spoke last night to a close friend of mine and something he said took me by surprise. Like me, he came out later in life — me in my mid 50’s and him in his early 60’s. He is about sixty-three now, handsome in a rugged way and in great shape. After a lot of soul searching, he chose to stay in his marriage but agreed with his wife to open up the marriage so that he could date men. He has been dating a young man for the last year. Continue reading

Falling In Love

baby sleeping with parents

What is love? The LGBTQ movement adopted the phrase, Love is Love, during the marriage equality fight to make the point that when two individuals love each other, it does not matter if the love is between two men or a man and a woman.  Continue reading