No Longer Home

 

Since before my wife’s death this past April, I began to live in the house that I had moved out of four years earlier, when I began my life as an out gay man. I had never planned to live in our house again.  But that all changed as my wife’s health declined from terminal cancer. 

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Wonderful Discovery

One of the stereotypes of gay men that I acquired around the age of fifteen, reading the homosexuality chapter of a terrible book about sex, was that gay relationships were fleeting; that gay men soon tired of each other as men continued their relentless pursuit of sex with other men; and that the idea of a deep loving passionate relationship between men was not possible. As much as I have changed over the years, and particularly over the last five years, I think this stereotype still lived on in the recesses of my mind. 

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Act III

 

At 59 years old I am faced with an interesting set of choices.  After working in the corporate world with a focus on information systems for the past 32 years in primarily profit driven companies, I have the opportunity to take a leadership role in a highly mission driven organization that provides consulting, services and programs around the world.  It is an exciting opportunity but one that has me question what really is next for me.  At a time when many people are looking to slow down I feel I have new vitality and excitement about the world.  Coming out as a gay man has freed me to continually discover and learn who and what I am.

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Deeply Romantic

I spoke last night to a close friend of mine and something he said took me by surprise. Like me, he came out later in life — me in my mid 50’s and him in his early 60’s. He is about sixty three now, handsome in a rugged way and in great shape.  After a lot of soul searching, he chose to stay in his marriage, but agreed with his wife to open up the marriage so that he could date men.  He has been dating a young man for the last year.
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