Stepping Out and Starting Over

When is it too late to start over? I know a man in his late sixties who only discovered that he was gay a few years ago. As he has worked through what he wants for his life he recently made the decision that finding intimacy and possibly love with another man was important to him. After forty five years of marriage to a woman, he has decided to make a few changes.

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My Biological Clock is Ticking

What are the effects on the mind and body of being in the closet and hiding who we are? All of us who have lived in the closet have gone through periods where it was easier to hide and periods where it was much harder.

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Coming Out

When we think about my own coming out to family and friends, it filled with anxiety, fear and indecision. What will they think of me? Will they still be in my life or will they turn away from me when they know who I am? What kind of hurt and pain will I be causing?

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Life Choices

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In the early 1970s, the choices for my life were stark. My father showed me a model of the rugged individualist. Then there was my attraction to men and the life that homosexuality seemed to promise. Neither was what I wanted.  Continue reading

My Life: Vignettes Over Time – Part IV

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When I look back at my journals from 2012 when I first began to come out, what I wrote extensively about was finding love. I wrote in one journal entry, “I want true love. I want to find that one guy who I can be a soul mate with, that I can be honest and real with and have a deep connection with. Is it possible? I really don’t know. I feel that so many of us are so damaged by this age, that I’m not sure what I want is real or attainable.” Continue reading

My Life: Vignettes Over Time – Chapter III

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My wife and I were both in our later 30’s when we married, and she was thirty-eight when we began trying to conceive. As we tried to get pregnant month after month, soon with drugs and shots to help fertilization, the limitations of my attraction made sex harder and more emotionally challenging. She finally did have a pregnancy that went to term, a few years and a few miscarriages later, and we ended up with a wonderful baby boy. She was never able to get pregnant again. As the years went on, it became more difficult to have sex with my wife, and over time I pulled back from any kind of physical intimacy. Continue reading

No Longer Myself

What alters our sense of self?  How do major life events make us feel less ourselves, and at times, have us lose sight of who we are? Continue reading