No Longer Myself

What alters our sense of self?  How do major life events make us feel less ourselves, and at times, have us lose sight of who we are? Continue reading

A Small Act of Courage

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A quote that I love and keep on a piece of paper on my desk at work, from a Washington Post article a few years ago, is this:

“Life seems to be a continual act of coming out, isn’t it? The boundaries we think are uncrossable, the unnamable corners of our soul that we live in fear of bringing to light . . . are the very regions that allow us to feel complete if we dare to explore them. So thank you for crossing borders, shining a light into those corners — they only make you more lovable, more admirable.”

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The man I am in a relationship with today and I were introduced by a friend one evening at a men’s Meetup monthly dinner about a year and a half ago. We sat in the back of the restaurant at a table talking and eating. I thought he was sexy, cute, and probably way too young for me. I was surprised to learn later that he was in his early 50’s and not his early 40’s as I had assumed.

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Building Relationships, Slowly

The Marriage Equality movement, with the focus group, tested message, Love is Love, is powerful. Young gay men just coming out today are entering a world where love, intimacy, and commitment are vividly made real between two men. 

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Finding Love

In a letter to my parents, posted on this blog, titled Dear Mom and Dad, I talked about my life this past year and what coming out meant to me. My parents reacted wonderfully to the letter and both said that they did not know that so many opportunities and organizations existed in the LGBT world. Which did not surprise me, since neither of them have had much exposure to the gay world. My mother said that she cried at points in the letter. But when I asked my mother if anything I wrote surprised her, she said that yes, she was surprised that I said I was looking for love. Continue reading

Thoughts on Dating

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One of the surprises in coming out in my mid-50s has been dating—It’s been a lot of fun. Before coming out I was worried that I would fail miserably at dating. I was worried that my dating skills were too rusty and that I would make a fool of myself on a date with another man. I also thought that having been married to a woman would be a dating liability. None of this turned out to be true. I found out that I’m a good conversationalist. I’ve also learned that I have a way of making other people feel comfortable and at ease, all of which is a good thing when on a date. Continue reading

Dinner Under 30


I had dinner tonight with a young guy I met at a Meetup group for gay men in our area. He was in his late 20’s, bright, funny, interesting, a vegetarian with wonderful tattoos on his right arm and more that I could not see. He had recently moved back to the DC area where he grew up after college and graduate school in NYC. Continue reading