A Continual Act of Coming Out

Coming Out

A quote that I love and keep on a piece of paper on my desk at work, from a Washington Post article a few years ago, is this:

“Life seems to be a continual act of coming out, isn’t it? The boundaries we think are uncrossable, the unnamable corners of our soul that we live in fear of bringing to light . . . are the very regions that allow us to feel complete if we dare to explore them. So thank you for crossing borders, shining a light into those corners — they only make you more lovable, more admirable.”

I love this quote because it reminds me to be who I am, and how coming out makes me more true to who I am and more complete.

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Finding Love

In a letter to my parents, posted on this blog, titled Dear Mom and Dad, I talked about my life this past year and what coming out meant to me. My parents reacted wonderfully to the letter and both said that they did not know that so many opportunities and organizations existed in the LGBT world. Which did not surprise me, since neither of them have had much exposure to the gay world. My mother said that she cried at points in the letter. But when I asked my mother if anything I wrote surprised her, she said that yes, she was surprised that I said I was looking for love. Continue reading

Thoughts on Dating

gay dating

One of the surprises in coming out in my mid-50s has been dating—It’s been a lot of fun. Before coming out I was worried that I would fail miserably at dating. I was worried that my dating skills were too rusty and that I would make a fool of myself on a date with another man. I also thought that having been married to a woman would be a dating liability. None of this turned out to be true. I found out that I’m a good conversationalist. I’ve also learned that I have a way of making other people feel comfortable and at ease, all of which is a good thing when on a date. Continue reading

Dinner Under 30


I had dinner tonight with a young guy I met at a Meetup group for gay men in our area. He was in his late 20’s, bright, funny, interesting, a vegetarian with wonderful tattoos on his right arm and more that I could not see. He had recently moved back to the DC area where he grew up after college and graduate school in NYC. Continue reading

Post-Modern Man


The easy electronic communication between gay, bi, married, and all other men, looking to find one another gets easier each year. At the risk of dating myself, when I was in graduate school in the early 1980s I played online with a service called The Source and later CompuServe. Both had gay chat areas. While the world has added pictures and GPS locations, the content of the chats is not too different than what I wrote 35 years ago. Continue reading