A Continual Act of Coming Out

Coming Out

A quote that I love and keep on a piece of paper on my desk at work, from a Washington Post article a few years ago, is this:

“Life seems to be a continual act of coming out, isn’t it? The boundaries we think are uncrossable, the unnamable corners of our soul that we live in fear of bringing to light . . . are the very regions that allow us to feel complete if we dare to explore them. So thank you for crossing borders, shining a light into those corners — they only make you more lovable, more admirable.”

I love this quote because it reminds me to be who I am, and how coming out makes me more true to who I am and more complete.

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Finding Love

In a letter to my parents, posted on this blog, titled Dear Mom and Dad, I talked about my life this past year and what coming out meant to me. My parents reacted wonderfully to the letter and both said that they did not know that so many opportunities and organizations existed in the LGBT world. Which did not surprise me, since neither of them have had much exposure to the gay world. My mother said that she cried at points in the letter. But when I asked my mother if anything I wrote surprised her, she said that yes, she was surprised that I said I was looking for love. Continue reading

Thoughts on Dating

One of the surprises in coming out in my mid-50s has been dating—It’s been a lot of fun. Before coming out I was worried that I would fail miserably at dating. I was worried that my dating skills were too rusty and that I would make a a fool of myself on a date with another man. I also thought that having been married to a woman would be a dating liability. None of this turned out to be true. I found out that I’m a good conversationalist. I’ve also learned that I have a way of making other people feel comfortable and at ease, all of which is a positive when on a date. Continue reading

In the Age of Grindr

Finding another gay man when I was a teenager and into my twenties meant one of three things: looking in the personal section of an underground newspaper; going to a bar; or cruising a park or restroom.  None of these I found particularly attractive.  In a bar I could never get up the courage to approach someone and start a conversation.  Even today I find the idea of approaching a stranger in a bar daunting.  I went to a bar in New York City this past week and couldn’t get myself to start a conversation with another guy who was also alone.  And I never tried to pick up a man in a public place, even thought I’ve looked over a few now and then.  I did try the personals as a teenager a few times with mixed results.  Continue reading