Watching your parents and family grow old is difficult. My parents are at the age where their health continues to decline. My mother has been the caregiver for both her sister and my father as their health declined. It is not easy to see this slipping away of people that you love.
Today I am an out and proud gay man. I am out in every facet of my life. But this has not always been the case. I began dating a woman in 1990, who I fell in love with, and we married two years later. We have a 19 year old son together. While I had know about my attraction to men since I was fourteen, and told my wife when we first started dating, I only began to come out fully about five years ago, and subsequently moved out of my marriage almost three years ago.
I’m saddened by the death of Robin Williams. As a teenager he gave me countless hours of joy watching him play Mork. While he was seven years older than me, it feels like he’s of my generation. What despair drives a person to kill themselves? Williams, one would think, had everything. He could have left the world stage and lived out his life in ease. I hope as the story unfolds that there is more to it than just that the guy was depressed. His publicist reported that he “has been battling severe depression”. So why didn’t someone do something to help him? Continue reading
The other night I was in Washington D.C. walking from 14 street down U street to the Dupont Circle Metro. I passed two men walking down the street holding hands. It warmed my heart. And then it immediately dawned on me how far I had truly come. There was a time not too long ago when I would cringe seeing men holding hands. It would make me very uncomfortable. Continue reading
At one point on the long road to separation, my wife asked me during a particularly painful conversation, ‘So, are you doing this just for sex? Your not 21 you know!’ No, I said, I was not doing it for the sex, (although to myself I thought that the sex part would be nice). Primarily I was separating because I believed that if I didn’t leave, and leave soon, I risked nothing less than the death of my soul. Now I know the phrase ‘death of my soul’ sounds just a bit dramatic, but that’s how I saw it. What I tried to explain to her, quite badly, was that I desperately needed, for what ever time I had left on earth, to live honestly, with a sense of integrity in the world. Continue reading