A Boy Who Will Be Gay


The other day my sister shared with me that she missed being able to go my parents, who are now in their mid 80’s, for their counsel and advice. It surprised me, because, since leaving home for college, I’ve rarely gone to my parents for any kind of counsel or advice. Continue reading

Not My Father’s Son: The Power of Coming Out


I never knew why my parents transferred me from public school to a private all boys’ Episcopal school in third grade, while my sister was sent across town to a co-ed Quaker school.
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When A Boy Reaches Puberty

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When a boy reaches puberty and begins to discover he is gay, there’s no road map for what happens next. There is very little in the straight world akin to the coming out process, which begins with coming out to yourself. Realizing that you’re gay is realizing that you are someone different than you thought. When I was growing up, even though I knew I was different than other boys, I expected that when I got older, I would be attracted to women and eventually have a wife and children. Continue reading

The Boys of Summer


In the early 1960s, my parents discovered Nantucket, long before the island became the popular upscale resort it is today. Each summer for a month, we would pack up the station wagon, tie the sailfish (a surfboard-like sailboat) to the roof, stuff the station wagon with clothes, diapers, a crib, my little sister and baby brother.  My father and mother would drive us to Woods Hole for the ferry ride to the island. We stayed in a small furnished cottage near the center of town that was part of a property of three cottages. The cottage we most often rented had a plaque above the door that named our summer home, After Cabin.
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Football and Me


Growing up, one of the reoccurring scenes that colored my sense of self was watching football at my uncle and aunt’s home. My uncle was my father’s only brother. Both men were accomplished, competitive, smart, and reared in the manliness of the 1950s. Continue reading

Suicide, Therapy and the Journey to Out



When I was 14 or 15, I tried to commit suicide. I did this after reading the chapter on homosexuality in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask), a popular book at the time, written in 1969 by David Reuben, MD. My father had a copy in his library. Continue reading

Homosexual Beginnings

As a child, I knew that I was different.  I didn’t care for team sports.  To this day I don’t understand football.  In third grade at recess, I preferred to sit with my friend Billy at the base of a large tree and create a whole imaginary world with sticks and leaves while ALL the other boys in my all-boys’ school played baseball.

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