Hating The Gay Within

A man that I recently met told me that he liked to have sex with men, but that he did not consider himself gay or bisexual. He did not feel any need to have gay friends and wanted nothing to do with the gay community. I asked him if he ever saw himself having a boyfriend or developing an intimate relationship with another man. He did not. He said that he simply liked sex with men, period.

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Not Settled Law: Marriage Equality

The Advocate reported that the White House would give LGBT Syrian refugees priority for entry given the persecution they face under ISIS. The Advocate writes, according to White House spokesman Josh Earnest, “the administration would instead prioritize letting in those refugees ‘deemed to be the most vulnerable.’ LGBT people would be among those meeting that definition.” The article goes on to say that the State Department has said that, “priority would be placed on those facing extreme persecution,” and that the definition of those being persecuted included LGBT refugees. Another interesting dimension the article described was a change recently in the State Department definition of the word, ‘spouse’, which now includes LGBT. So LGBT spouses of Syrian refugees are now seen differently than they might have been, thanks to marriage equality.

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The Politics of Weddings

I remember years ago reading an article in the New York Times, Hers column about the politics of weddings. It was written by a young woman rabbi. She wrote about the irreversible choices people made around wedding on who to include or exclude and who will sit with whom. When I did get married in 1993 I was determined to have a wedding free of petty angers and hurts. Rather than think about it just as our day, we thought about how to make it the best experience for all the attendees. I think we succeeded.

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The Death of Archie Andrews

Archie Andrews was a favorite comic character of my childhood, but I haven’t thought of him for many years, until last week. The news of Archie’s death, protecting his gay friend from a gunman, made headline news. When I heard the ‘breaking news’, and it did come across as breaking news, I thought it quite silly. The story felt like nothing more than a plan to sell comic books. But this morning Archie’s gay friend became part my story. Continue reading