As a closeted man I kept my passions, interests and emotions in check to keep the gay from showing. I hid myself from the world so deeply that I became bland, boring, quiet and very much in pain. Over the 20 years of my marriage, I lost interest in so many things that had once mattered to me: Impressionist art; visiting museums; pottery; design; skiing, and the list goes on. By the end of the marriage I wasn’t passionate about very much. Hiding the man that I am literally was took the life out of me. Continue reading
I’ve never been a public figure. In fact, when I began to work after college, I remember consciously making the decision, because of my homosexuality, to keep a low profile in the world. I knew that being gay did not lend itself to many white collar professions at the time. And to borrow a line from Panti’s Nobel Call at the Abbey Theatre, I was afraid the gay would show. So I did my best to keep the gay hidden by hiding myself. Continue reading
Every step of coming out of the closet, even when you are already out, has an element of fear. Today in a staff meeting the head of Human Resources announced the formation of Resource or Affinity groups at our company, starting with LGBT and Veterans this year, followed by others next year. She also announced that I would be the executive sponsor for the LGBT group. Even though I had come out to everyone at the meeting, I was surprised how nervous and scared I was. It felt like stepping on the world stage and being very out and very public. Continue reading
Balancing a high level job with a lot of pressures and the process of continually becoming more public as a gay man certainly makes for a level of anxiety, fear and an exciting, evolving life.
Today, every large company seems to have an LGBT resource or affinity group. The HR group in my company is working to form resource groups, starting with LGBT and Veteran groups, and I’ve been asked to be involved in launching the LGBT group. Continue reading