Hating The Gay Within

A man that I recently met told me that he liked to have sex with men, but that he did not consider himself gay or bisexual. He did not feel any need to have gay friends and wanted nothing to do with the gay community. I asked him if he ever saw himself having a boyfriend or developing an intimate relationship with another man. He did not. He said that he simply liked sex with men, period.

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Restoring Marriage: Code for Hate

The Family Leader is a Christian organization whose mission is to, “Strengthen families, by inspiring Christ-like leadership in the home, the church, and the government.” They do this, according to their website by, transforming the culture; impacting elections; and influencing policy. While the organization has chosen not to publicly endorse a presidential candidate before the Iowa Caucuses, they have encouraged their leadership to speak out. Bob Vander Plaats, President and CEO of The Family Leader, who the New York Time calls, “an influential leader of Iowa’s Christian right” has endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz. The Family Leader, said the New York Times article, is “staunchly opposed to abortion and same-sex marriage.”

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Weekend Without You

My boyfriend and I have spent most weekends together for a very long time. Our combined schedules make it very hard for us to get together on weeknights. But this weekend he was away visiting his parents, following his fathers being hospitalized for atrial fibrillation. Today is Monday and he flys back to Washington, D.C. later this afternoon.

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Love Letters

Valentine card on canvas background

I’m reading the autobiography of a gay married man. The book is, I Should Have Known: Memories of a Gay Married Man, By Dean Gardner Ostrum. What is striking about this gem of a book is the love letters between Dean and the man who became his life partner. The letters have the love and warmth of any two people in love and are lovely. Again, it points to a world of love and relationship between men that I’m only discovering exists and which I hope to find in my own life.

What Don’t They Get?

HIV virus

What don’t they get about being gay? I mean most of the country. Do you think anyone would choose to be gay? A person’s sexual orientation is at the most atomic cellular level. It’s so hard wired that any attempt to change it simply fails. I know. I tried for years to change from homosexuality. It began with almost 10 years of therapy followed by a few more years wrongly following a cult that promised it could change me. At the end of all that I thought I had mostly changed, but I was wrong. Continue reading