Love-Hate Affair

“Oh my G-d, look at those flowers. Just beautiful. And that house. It used to owned by Mr. ____, he ran _____ Corporation. There’s no place like this anywhere. It’s so special.”

That was my mother talking yesterday as we drove around the downtown part of Nantucket Island where my family has spent summers since the 1960s.

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The World From Her Perspective

How does a woman, raised in the south by a father who was a new deal democrat, slowly become a conservative? I always believed that my father, an early neo-conservative, was a major influence on my mother, but as I spend more time with mom since my father’s passing, I think the answer is more complex.

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What To Do About Mom?

What’s the best way to deal with a parent or relative as they age. My aunt, my mother’s sister, raged through her decline with anger, denial and increasing hallucinations. My mother has taken a different approach, always the optimist, she tries to see the positive. But like my aunt, my mother is strong willed. Often when mom says yes it really a secret no.

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Different

Now, “different” is nice, but it sure isn’t pretty
“Pretty” is what it’s about
I never met anyone who was “different”
Who couldn’t figure that out

– At The Ballet from A Chorus Line

I knew I was different from a very young age, even though my mother, grandmother, and aunt tried to turn it into being special. As the character Bebe sings in A Chorus Line, I figured out that I was not like the other boys, and it was not a good thing. I did not engage in baseball on the playground, I was utterly disinterested in sports and could not get my head around the rules or players’ role in different games. Continue reading

This Last Year

coming out later in life

It’s hard to describe what the last twelve months have been like. On June 17, 2013, I moved out of my home, separated from my wife of 20 years, left my son with my wife, and into an apartment that I had rented. While I had been in the process of coming out as gay for the two years before moving out, moving into my new apartment was the final big step. While the months leading up to moving out had been incredibly difficult and painful, moving into my own place was joyous. I loved coming home to my own apartment, free to be me, as quaint as that sounds. So a year ago began the final big step of coming out as a gay man. Continue reading