New Beginning

Last Saturday my partner came over to the house that I moved out of three years and nine months ago, to meet my wife and her parents for the first time.  This gathering was a long time in coming and was driven by my desire for my partner and my wife to meet. The timing was precipitated by my wife’s increasing decline from terminal cancer.  She soldiers on with a new chemo regiment that begins today, with the hopes of slowing down or shrinking the tumors that increasingly inhabit her abdominal cavity and lungs. These new drugs may only slow down the inevitable, but they will not stop the cancer.  

Continue reading

Butterflies and Runny Poop

I remember in college, when I would feel the need for sexual release as an explosion that needed to take place, my destination of choice was the baths.  I would arrive driven, nervous, with butterflies in my stomach.  My first destination, after paying the fee and getting my towel and locker key, was the bathroom, where my intestines would explode with a complete emptying of my bowels. 

Continue reading

Minority Stress

 

Four times a year I board a plan to attend a board meeting as a board member of a company that my employer is part owner of. While I came out last year to about half people who attend this meeting, I have not come out to everyone, and because of that each meeting has a certain level of stress. 
Continue reading

Looking At The Future With No Regrets

In my work I have often prided myself at being able to look at a project and know from the onset if it would be a success or a failure.  This same projecting into the future and imagining what will be has always been a part of my life.  I can often look at a situation and see the key outlines or framework of what it will be in the future, even if I can not see the details. 

Continue reading

God Wanted Me To Have Bigger Closets

Over five and a half years ago I came out to my wife as a gay man for the second time.  The first time was shortly after we met twenty five years ago.  After painfully wrestling with the kind of life I wanted to live going forward, I made the decision to move out of my marriage.  My wife and I separated over three and a half years ago.  

Continue reading

My New Life

Until my wife was diagnosed with cancer two months ago, I thought I was in the final stages of ending my married life and beginning a neww life with my partner. I went from planning my divorce to planning my wife’s cancer treatment.  My wife’s battle with an aggressive cancer brought me back into her life, after three years and four months of separation. Her tumor was found the week before we were set to begin divorce mediation. 

Continue reading