I sometimes felt like a balloon that would burst. At a certain point in my marriage, I became sure that I was gay, casting aside the thought, held onto for too long, that I was bisexual. So then what? I felt deeply committed to my marriage. I had made a life contract with an individual that I was going to honor. But at what cost? When chronic diseases came, diabetes and hypothyroidism, I asked myself if any of it was to do all the things I was keeping inside. As my emotional distress and mental anguish grew over the years, when would it be too much?